All That Good Jazz

Umarekawari

2011-03-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

Umarekawari (ooh-ma-ray-kah-wah-ree). It means "rebirth" in Japanese. Renaissance. Revival. Restoration. Awakening. Starting over and hoping for the best. It's a huge theme in the book I'm trying to revise, and for a good reason. I know the feeling. I've been there, done that, won the grand prize for it. Few things in life hurt more than that hopeless feeling of not being good enough. We watch as other people reach their dreams; we watch that uncontrollable gloat of triumph spread across their face. We congratulate them, with only the sincerest happiness.

Yet it is a detached happiness.

It is not our success; no, success belongs to someone else. WE are the failures, sad little creatures of futile enterprise. Our dreams will never see the light of day.

Right?

Wrong.

The only difference between the successful and YOU is that they already made it.

Perhaps it took them years and years (this is me).

Perhaps it took them a few days (this is a freak of nature who may need to be watched with a wary eye).

But if you really want something -- if your desire, your need for it, cannot be contained, if it influences your every thought and drowns your every other passion --

You'll find a way to get there, in time.

Because if someone else can do it, why not you?

How has everyone's writing been going?!

(Also, thank you to all those who left lovely comments for me on my last post. They really make blogging worthwhile!)

Epicurious

2010-12-29T14:38:00.000-08:00

Ah, cooking. How I love to cook. My mother hates it, which I suppose can be considered reasonable... The patience it requires is not for everybody.

You see, there's a very precise art to cooking that not many people are aware of, if only because having an onion be at the right room temperature or buying cheese you grate yourself rather than pre-shredded cheese (chemicals are added to it in order to keep the pieces of cheese separated; therefore, the taste is slightly off) is not a high priority for most people. And unless you are a trained gourmet chef with years of experience, you probably won't realize the difference in taste in most cases.

I'm not a gourmet chef and just between you and me... I eat fast. In fact, I inhale my food, American-style. I really don't know why I eat like a starving hippopotamus -- maybe just out of habit -- but I don't sit for half an hour "savoring to the fullest" a meal that can be consumed in five minutes. In other words, I don't "do as the French do." You put a piece of cheesecake in front of me, that thing will be annihilated quicker than a drop of water falling on the sands of the Sahara.

But I do LOVE to cook, and I like to do it right. I appreciate the aforementioned "preciseness" of it: of combining dry ingredients before adding anything wet, of cooking bacon in a cold pan, of a dough that is the perfect consistency, of exactly 1 teaspoon of salt. I can't always taste the difference (sometimes I can; fresh is ALWAYS better) but just knowing that I'm putting forth my best effort gives me a warm, satisfying feeling. Then there's the relaxing act of cooking itself. While I'm doing it, my mind is temporarily wiped clean of everything else. It's just me and the food and the utensils I use to prepare and cook it. And it doesn't hurt to get a nice compliment or two after everyone's feasted on my feast. ;)

Where do you stand? Love cooking or hate it? Any tried-and-true tips to share with the class?

And if you're a foodie like me, I HIGHLY recommend Russell Reich and Dorothy Hamilton's Notes on Cooking: A Short Guide to an Essential Craft.

Get Motivated?!

2010-12-26T17:05:00.000-08:00

Recently one of my very favorite bloggers (*cough* Terry *cough*) left her blog for good in order to better focus on her writing. Which made me consider the pros and cons of blogging while being a writer.

These are all sure to be obvious but here they are:

Pros:

1. Camaraderie among people with common goals and interests.

2. Education! We've learned a lot about writing as bloggers, haven't we?

3. A possible platform for when we are future published authors.

4. It's fun!

Cons:

1. Takes up time.

2. Takes up time.

3. Blogging takes time! Even more if you want to be a successful blogger!

We all know by now of Nathan Bransford's retirement from the literary agent community. And ever since I started following his blog, I've wondered how he manages to fit all of his obligations (blogging, writing, agenting) into one day. Did he have no life outside of his work? Did he sleep an hour a night? Is he some sort of alien? And then he announced he was no longer a literary agent and I realized that he couldn't keep it up. No matter what reasons he gave, I can guarantee you that that guy was seriously strapped for time. How couldn't he be?

Now I'm not saying I want to give up blogging. I don't. The pros outweigh the cons in my opinion, even if I don't have nearly as much time as I used to. But I will admit that I've been feeling a lot less motivated (hence my random absences).

So my question is this: How do YOU stay motivated?

PS Hope you all had a fabulous holiday!

How to Start & End With a BANG!

2010-12-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

It's common knowledge in the writer community that the first line of your book may mean the difference between a sale and a return to the bookstore shelf (or increasingly, the e-database). Then there's the very last line which should have the effect of closure, closure that satisfies. The first line of your book is a dangling hook in the water, and the last line the delicious bass cooked to a fine crisp. But what about the parts in between? How do you get the fish on the hook?

Your book is sure to be divided into chapters, and maybe those chapters are divided into scenes. Each chapter and each scene should have a purpose to carry out, eg character insight or plot advancement. And to set the tone for that purpose, you need a strong kick-off/encore tag team.

Grandiosity isn't necessary for all chapter and scene beginnings, and in fact, a very basic declaration can get the job done. Compare and contrast:

1. Sara woke up, yawning and stretching.

2. Sara woke up and almost immediately felt her body dragging her back.

(Sorry, these are pretty weak examples)

Putting aside the fact that "Sara woke up" is a dull beginning for a scene, which would you say is the stronger of the two sentences?

The first sentence is a statement and nothing more. But the second poses a question: what could be wrong with her, if anything? Is she just tired or could it be something else? You can infer so much from that one little sentence that your mind becomes even more engaged than before, or at the very least, all over again.

This same concept applies to endings as well. When a scene or chapter ends, no matter how mundane the conflict, leave your readers with QUESTIONS burning holes in their skulls. If you do this successfully enough times, they will have read and enjoyed your entire book! Yowza!

Just remember:

Even the mundane in life can be infused with power. You just have to find it.

What are some of YOUR foolproof ways of starting and ending with a BANG? What have you seen other authors do and what made it work?

The Hating Game: It's A Smash!

2010-12-01T14:52:00.000-08:00

Today, prolific and all-around awesome blogger and author Talli Roland's debut novel The Hating Game is being released as an e-book on Amazon! Help her hit the Kindle bestseller list at Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk by spreading the word. Even a few sales in a short period of time on Amazon helps push the book up the rankings, making it more visible to other readers.

No Kindle? Fear not! Download a free app at Amazon for Mac, iPhone, PC, Android and more.

Coming soon in paperback. Keep up with the latest at http://www.talliroland.com/ and http://talliroland.blogspot.com/

About THE HATING GAME:

When man-eater Mattie Johns agrees to star on a dating game show to save her ailing recruitment business, she's confident she'll sail through to the end without letting down the perma-guard she's perfected from years of her love 'em and leave 'em dating strategy. After all, what can go wrong with dating a few losers and hanging out long enough to pick up a juicy £2000,000 prize? Plenty, Mattie discovers, when it's revealed that the contestants are four of her very unhappy exes. Can Mattie confront her past to get the prize money she so desperately needs, or will her exes finally wreak their long-awaited revenge? And what about the ambitious TV producer whose career depends on stopping her from making it to the end?

All the best for Talli!

Blogging Like A Rockstar

2010-11-28T15:24:00.000-08:00

Read on to find out how to jam out on your blog like the pros:

Ignore your followers. All they are is eye candy for your too-fabulous blog, a little oregano on the chicken. Also proof to your girlfriend that what you are doing is not a waste of time, that in fact, you are on your merry way to the divinest enlightenment, an enlightenment so divinely divine that God Himself will almost bow before your awesome might. Besides, what rockstar has the time to hit that follower button?

Make those posts LOOOONG. Like a great song that you never want to end (kind of like the B-52’s Love Shack), a blog post should range anywhere from 4.5K to 10K words (anything over that and you’re treading wobbly ground). Repetition is also key for the better parts of your blog post. So if you’ve got a particularly funny joke or a brilliant piece of insight, be sure to post it 15 times in a row, and then a couple more times at the end for good measure.

Use neon color font. Everything is better in neon. Just ask this chick. Neon colors, especially on white backgrounds, really POP OUT and catch people’s attention, getting them to pay you your mucho-deserved attention, then keeps it because what the golly gee is that word oh it’s pudding. It’s cool, it’s glamorous, it’s ultra-modern.

Forget spell check. %91.7 of youyr reedorshipe ‘ar qriters an everuone knows writrs kant spelle cuz’ tyhats wjat edito5rs are four. It’s arroagnce at its finestf. and iz it werth it wen it gtakez so lawng?

Honesty is the passageway into a blogger’s heart. If it’s crap, it’s crap. Let bloggers know if their posts are boring or stupid or just plain dorky, because then how will they improve? Tell how it is and once the tears are gone, they will come to appreciate you and maybe even create another blogger account just so they can follow you twice.

CAPITAL LETTERS ROCK LIKE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. LIKE WITH NEON, IT REALLY STANDS OUT AND GETS PEOPLE TALKING. IT BOLDLY DECLARES “I AM AWESOME, HEAR ME ROAR,” IMPLYING THAT YOU HAVE WORLD-CHANGING THINGS TO SAY. DO YOU SEE ANY LOWER-CASE LETTERS ON THE SIGNAGE IN STYLISH NEW YORK CITY? DIDN’T THINK SO.

Any other tips, my all-around dashing blogger rockers? <3

I'm Back!

2010-11-24T10:30:00.000-08:00

I know, I never offer any prior notice but that's just how mysterious I am. ;]

Let's see what's been on my schedule these past few weeks...

1.) Taekwondo (tae kwondo? tae kwon do? taekwon do?) I am now a certified white belt and come December 3 I hope to advance to yellow belt status! After that, there's green, blue, brown, red, and the coveted black (the average amount of time it takes to reach such a status is 2-3 years). I attempted my first board break at an elementary school demonstration last Friday and I broke through two inch-thick boards! Not together but still. I was very surprised and in fact, I think anyone could do it if they're not afraid of a little wrist pain (mine still stings when I press down on it). It's an intimidating sport to get into but once you get past the initial fears of flexibility issues, hurt pride, and having to remember to say "Sir" a thousand times in the span of an hour, it's a lot of fun. I'd recommend it to anyone. I went into it to increase my strength but any martial art is first and foremost a self-defense method so bear that in mind.

2.) Work. This Friday is of course Black Friday and the department store I work at, Kohl's, is opening their doors at 3 AM. And while I don't go in until 9 (when hopefully the crazies would have already gotten their shopping in), it's going to be like New York City in there no matter what time it is. And this will be my very first experience with retail at this time of year. At least I get paid time and a half...

3.) Nihongo. I decided a couple months ago to relearn Japanese and it's going a lot more smoothly than when I tried in the ninth grade. I made for myself some flashcards and I think I know the basics. But I could really use Rosetta Stone. Christmas, perchance?

4.) Writing. Yeah, I haven't accomplished much. At all. I've just been in a slump these past few weeks. I'm close to halfway done with revisions even though I should have been entirely done by now, BUT at least I know for certain, after five years of trial and error, what works and what doesn't. Now it's just a matter of willpower. *SIGH*

So what's going on with you party people?

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Did YOU Rock the Vote?

2010-11-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Without getting into those nasty, nasty politics, how many of you guys voted November 2 for the Mid-Term Elections? Were you content with your voting choices, or did you grudgingly put down your selection simply because you could not stand the thought of the other guy/gal winning?

And for those who did not vote, why not?

I tend to disagree (and yes, I'm breaking my own rules here about getting into politics) with those people who believe that if you are born into society, you automatically have a right to EVERYTHING. You have a right to food, a right to a home, a right to healthcare, a right to affordable living, a right to vote. This is utterly ridiculous because if this were the case, we would not work an honest day's work for ANYTHING and thus NOTHING would get accomplished. Why should it if we EXPECT everything to be handed to us? If this kind of lazy system were to be enacted, our great country would collapse in on itself.

What we have is a PRIVILEGE. It is a PRIVILEGE having the things we take for granted and the freedoms we do not necessarily deserve. We do not live in a world in which we deserve all that we need. We are not special and we are not entitled to everything. The ability to vote did not come about effortlessly: people have been jailed and beaten and repressed and blood has been shed, all for the sake of allowing their voices to be heard, to say to the bloated bureaucrats in charge that "we matter." Therefore, when it comes to voting, we have to take the initiative and do it. It is our patriotic duty to both stay informed of current events and to cast our ballot come election time.

Believing that our vote "doesn't matter" is false. How, pray tell, can Americans unite on common principles without casting their proof? If we are dissatisfied with how our government is operating, sitting at home and griping in front of the news will not solve anything. Even if it is unlikely that a candidate or political party will change the status quo for the better, there is always at least a CHANCE that things will get better. And if we believe that the country will be headed in the wrong direction if the other party claims a majority, we must take action in order to stop that from happening. Voting is by far the easiest method of doing so. If enough people say "what's one vote matter?" then it will indeed not matter because millions of Americans will have stayed home.

No matter what the political climate, rock every vote like it's 1994. And remember that 2012 is just around the corner...

OVERWRITTEN AUTHORS WIN AWARDS

2010-10-21T00:10:00.000-07:00

I thought that would catch your attention. ;]

To clarify, this is in no way suggesting that the only books worth reading are those that are smug and overly wordy. God no. Just that a surprising number of award-winning novels are wordier than, say… Stephanie Meyer.

Take Tana French. Her debut novel In the Woods (an amazingly plotted yet gorgeously written book) is riddled with adjectives and adverbs and, oh yes, exposition! Tons of it! She has broken the “rules” to writing and yet … she won the prestigious 2008 Edgar Award for Best First Novel by an American Author.

Huh? Can someone please explain this to me?

Now, it’s not my intention to shed a mean light on everyone who has pointed out my liking of verbosity (I love words, but I try to cap myself a limit (I usually fail, I know); and I know I am not as good as the pros). The reason for this is because you are RIGHT. Too many words bogs down reading, especially action scenes which should be fast-paced. But too little, and our work takes on a quality of sameness.

Think about it. If we try too hard to make our scenes “crisp,” we end up with writing that reads exactly like everyone else’s. How many books have you read and mistaken for something by James Patterson? There’s nothing unique about his style. This guy is generic, like so many others. Reasonable and effective, yes. Interesting plots, sure. And he definitely takes home a much bigger paycheck than Tana French. But what have we been saying for the longest time? We write not for money (not saying that JP does), but because we love it. Because we want to move someone. And in my case, and maybe yours too:

Because we want to stand out. Because we want to be remembered.

As with everything, the trick is to make it work. To do it well, to handle yourself properly. Tana French, for the most part, has done it extremely well. Here are the first few sentences of In the Woods:

Picture a summer stolen whole from some coming-of age film set in small-town 1950s. This is none of Ireland’s subtle seasons mixed for a connoisseur’s palate, watercolor nuances within a pinch-sized range of cloud and soft rain; this is summer full-throated and extravagant in a hot pure silkscreen blue. This summer explodes on your tongue tasting of chewed blades of long grass, your own clean sweat, Marie biscuits with butter squirting through the holes and shaken bottles of lemonade picnicked in tree houses. It tingles on your skin with BMX wind in your face, ladybug feet up your arm…..

Her character’s perspective on the world in which they inhabit is unique and this is enhanced by her choice of terminology. The words “long” and perhaps “shaken” are unnecessary, but other than that, I can visualize a purpose for every other word.

Then there’s this:

She shook back the hood and took off down the strand in a long chain of cartwheels and flips, her coat tumbling around her shoulders. My initial impression of Cassie was satisfyingly spot-on: she did gymnastics for eight years as a kid and was apparently quite good. She quit because competitions and routines bored her; it was the moves themselves she loved, their taut, sprung, risky geometry, and fifteen years later her body still remembers most of them…

Like me, Ms. French comes from a theater background, and it shows. His (Ryan’s) impression of Cassie was not just spot-on, it was satisfyingly spot-on, meaning he’s the kind of person who takes pride in being right. Also, Ryan sees gymnastics not just as gymnastics, but a “taut,” “sprung,” “risky geometry.” Any writer can get away with “she loves gymnastics because it’s fun,” but why settle if you’re capable of more? Get creative!

Here’s another short example:

I shoulder-barged straight into a tree trunk...

And another:

“No,” she said, a slight, cool syllable that dropped like a depth charge.

And finally:

“You couldn’t have kept it up anyway,” I said, enormously relieved.

Ryan’s not just relieved; he’s enormously relieved. Knowing the extent of his relief makes a difference. You feel relieved if you managed to stop yourself spilling milk down your shirt; you feel enormously relieved upon hearing that your child who was involved in a nasty car wreck got out of there alive with barely a broken arm. One can argue that in such cases, the enormous impact of your relief is pretty much implied, but it would still sound underwhelming not to specify.

There are some instances wherein her use of adjectives and adverbs is gratuitous, either because it is already blindingly clear, or simply because there were too many to begin with:

But somehow that night it seemed almost seductive, it shimmered tantalizingly in the air before me, and I turned it over with a luxurious giddiness.

And:

“Your father and mother,” I said, keeping my voice gentle and even.

Wouldn’t you say gentle is pretty “even?” You can’t really have one without the other. Their definitions are too similar.

But the way in which Ms. French exploits her mastery of vocabulary and descriptive language adds such a distinctive perspective to her story. She gets us to think about the events transpiring on the page in ways we may not have before. She breathes life into her fiction, and life is supposed to have variety.

As for dialogue, too much, and your book reads like a screenplay (if, however, you have been told by paid professionals that your dialogue skills are terrific, then by all means, become a playwright). Also, sometimes dialogue just is not right for a particular scene. Not everything can be shown by saying it, nor should it be. Again, unless the dialogue is exceptional, it can get boring real fast.

I’m sure there are varying opinions on this, but from what I myself have seen, the “ideal” percentage of dialogue in your book is 50%. Mine is maybe 40%. So sue me. But I think either percentage is all right.

If you are still unconvinced and wordiness will forever be not your thing, that is of course fine. We all have our preferences for entertainment and we cannot help what we find enjoyable. There are pros and cons to everything and we are taking a risk no matter what kind of book we are writing. But the best way to better ourselves is by acknowledging the merits of the other side.

Of course, if you're lacking in the story department... then throw out all I just said. :)

Weird & Wacky Japan(ese Toys)

2010-10-17T17:17:00.000-07:00

We all know about Tamagotchi and Pokemon and Yugioh trading cards and robots and of course, the latest in videogame technology. That's because they were and still are just as popular here in the West. But when it comes to the toys that kids in Japan play with when they're bored with everything else... they are so purely Japanese that a kid in Wisconsin would literally have no idea what to do with them, provided they even have the guts to encounter such... creepiness. So tell your dusty Godzilla action figure to move over 'cause it's showtime! (Just please don't ask me about the Pregnant Doll...) (Or the Shave the Baby Doll, which is actually Chinese...) (Ahem)

Think of the Tuttuki Bako Finger Game Box as a more primitive and thus healthier, if vicious, version of the Game Boy Advance. With just an index finger, you can terrorize stick people, flick a panda bear, and point and laugh in a little girl's face. All you have to do is wiggle your finger in the little hole on the side and a digital copy appears on the screen to mimic your every move. Here in the States, serial killers are born out of beating puppies; in Japan, it's by playing the TB Finger Game.

I'm not sure exactly what you're supposed to do with animal keychains that show the animal's entire muscle and organ system, but maybe Gotochi Dissection Animals are edible if... you know, you had nothing else to eat and were desperate...

As if toilet training wasn't already humiliating enough, now the kiddies have attached to their toilet paper the Shimajiro Toilet Training Tiger! You know, because tigers are cool, and anything is cool if a tiger is doing it too. This thing's got it all: animated poo, talking toilets, waste-themed musicals, and even encouraging phrases for when you're taking care of business.

Naughty boys and girls beware, for this nifty little nightmare knows your secrets. The H-Bouya USB "Toy" (the quotations are my doing) alerts the computer user via a blink whenever the letter "h," pronounced "ecchi," which stands for hentai, which is the word for porn in Japanese, is typed. "Uh, young sir? Don't you think you've had enough?"

If your idea of fun is sticking fake octopuses and squid and jellyfish into a bottle, then Bandai's Floating Micro Toy may be the toy for you. At least they're cute.

Dun-duh-duh-duhhh! It's Koibito, here to save the day from your dreary and drab and unoriginal play date. Who needs Super-Man when you've got a 3/4 Carp, 1/4 Questionable Man-Thing to kick some evil villain's evil butt? Koibito is actually considered part toy, part art.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Russian Roulette for kids. No, seriously. But wait wait wait, before you run off to the child protection authorities, The Kaba Kick fires pink hippo feet and NOT bullets. When the gun doesn't fire, the player earns points. Fun for the whole family, no? Because there's nothing more exciting than having an angry hippopotamus kick you in the face.

Aww, don't you just wanna snuggle with these guys? :3

Wanroom is apparently what you get when you fuse animals with household items. I recommend you don't let children see this because then they'll want to...

Here are some adult toys if you're interested. No, not that kind of adult toy... But they are a tad gruesome so don't look if you're squeamish.

Ahh, the thrills of childhood...

Saying Your I-Dos to Good Storytelling for the Sake of Humanity

2010-10-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

Be it a prologue or Chapter 1, if this part of a story is well-done, one of two things will happen:

1.) The reader will expect the rest of the book to be just as amazing.

2.) The reader will expect the rest of the book to be just as amazing, only to find out that it is not, that the writer has failed to deliver, that the writer has lost their mojo, that life is full of surprises surprising to no one, that beginner’s luck is not a good thing, that you cannot have your cake and eat it too, that writers care only for lattes and money (for more lattes), which will only lead to more meh books, and thus the reader feels cheated and ticked off. Possibly suicidal.

a.) As a result of the resulting depression as a result of reading the disappointing results of your writerly efforts, they will, as a result, eat themselves into oblivion. And as a result of them eating themselves into oblivion, morbid obesity will set in; a result being that it is hard for them to move, and as a further result, they will eat more until they cannot get up as a result of the already resultant depression, as a result barring them from leaving their house to go to the bookstore or go to their computer to go to Amazon to get books as a result. As a result, mass reading shortages will come about, and as an eventual result, reading will cease to exist and as a result writing will cease to exist and as a another result writers will cease to exist and for the near-ultimate result, YOU will cease to exist.

b.) As a result, THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL HAVE GONE EXTINCT.

So make your hook good. But make the rest of your book good too.

Hey look, Momma, I caught one!

2010-10-11T01:04:00.000-07:00

So, Justin Parente over at In My Write Mind was cool enough to host the Hook, Line, and Sinker Blogfest where entrants shall make daring attempts at dazzling you with the first 1,000 or so words of their novel.

Please be as brutal as you would like in giving constructive criticism on the following piece. It is the entirety of my first chapter at 953 words. Here's the LINK to my Page where you can read it.

As always, it’ll probably be a while before I get to the other entries but I’ll squeeze you guys in later today. Believe me, I look forward to it!

Next up on Wednesday, I tell you what you may not have expected with the unintended consequences of your first few pages.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

The WMD Debate

2010-10-06T23:25:00.000-07:00

For those of you who weren't scared away by the political implications, I'm talkin' about WAFFLES OF MASS DELIGHT! (pardon the redundancy)

I'll be honest with you. I'm really not that into breakfast. It's only every now and again I get cravings for eggs and sausage and toast and cereal and what have you. I'm more of a brunch person who feasts on sandwiches and spaghetti. But waffles . . . now THERE's an excuse to get fat. Few meals are better than a sandwich and a waffle at Waffle House, the all-time greatest road-trip eatery.

Chocolate is totally radical, absolutely bodacious, and screamingly delicious; but sometimes, I just want a waffle. In all its battery and syrupy goodness, it's basically cake for breakfast:

(this perfectly resembles my drooling mouth right now)

And . . . they . . . look . . . AMAZING.

I'd even eat these little darlings:

(This gives me a great idea: we should have a Waffle Czar! And it should be me! I'm exactly what America needs!)

Waffles, I love you. Please marry me. We will be good together, I know it!

RUN TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

So, the question of the century is: To waffle or not to waffle?

What writers can learn from Mad Men.

2010-10-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

“That’s life . . . One minute you’re on top of the world, the next minute some secretary is running you over with a lawnmower.” ~Joan Holloway

It’s a win-win situation, right? Watching the best show on television and learning how to write better, all at the same time: what could be more awesome? So here’s what AMC’s Mad Men can teach you:

“I need you to go and get a cardboard box. Then put your things in it.” ~Don Draper

1. Gradual Characterization

Who the characters are, where they came from, and how they came to be who they are is not dumped on us within the first episode. Hell, it’s not dumped on us within the first SEASON. In fact, it’s not dumped on us at all. We learn gradually, through bits and pieces, about our favorite ‘60s ad men/women and housewives. And they develop, whether for better or worse, rather than remain static and unchanging.

Delving into backstory as soon as the story begins and all at once is ineffective storytelling at its worst. The surprise is gone, utterly and unconditionally wiped clean. But rejoice, dear scribes, for setting aside backstory for a later chapter is a very easy thing to do. There should be no excuses.

“I’m in the persuasion business. And frankly, I’m disappointed by your presentation.” ~Peggy Olson

2. Vivid Setting

Mad Men paints such a beautiful portrait of 1960s New York that you feel as if you’re really there. Yes, obviously that’s easier to do with a TV show than with a book, but let Mad Men serve as setting’s emphasis. You need to allow your readers the chance to get a feel for where they are at. In order to do that, make your setting come alive with evocative language throughout, not simply in one chunk at the beginning of the story. Keep in mind that your setting may affect your characters, as in Mad Men where New York City’s materialistic Manhattan is the forefront of modern advertising and home of the finest bars and restaurants, perfect for the characters to unwind in more ways than one.

Physical parameters, cultural norms, laws, and current realities are just a few of the dictates for your characters that come with your particular setting. The more you rely on them, the more believable your story. And all the more satisfying.

“You have big ones. My mommy has big ones, too. And I’m going to have big ones when I grow up.” ~Sally Draper

3. Perseverance

Did you know that the first draft of Mad Men was passed by both Showtime and HBO before finally making its home over at starving AMC? Now that is what I call fortitude. And hilarity. Oh, the humiliation of those movie channels!

“I told him to be himself. That was mean I guess.”

~Roger Sterling

4. Combination of Storylines

Who would want to watch a show that was just about advertising? Well okay, maybe some of us. The point is, what would be better: advertising alone, or advertising, loneliness, feminism, identity, the past, adultery, boredom in suburbia, the changing social mores of the ‘60s, as well as a number of other briefer storylines? Having multiple storylines accomplishes two things: one, it reaches out to more people because we relate to more of what’s going on if there is more; and two, it creates further suspense because you won’t always know what to expect next. Even cliffhangers can mislead you.

The problem may be weaving them all in while staying true to the major theme and main plot. But Mad Men does it in a way that seems so effortless it’s almost mocking. Just don’t think too hard about it. The trick, I believe, is to have fun with it. Believe in your creative prowess and believe in the characters you put on the page.

Because if you don’t, who else will?

“If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.” ~Don Draper

Catch the season finale of Mad Men Sunday, October 18.

Sayonara, Summer

2010-09-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from a much-needed, completely spontaneous respite from blogging, and man have I missed it! I have a lot of catching up to do and it will be a slow process seeing as how I don't currently have a computer at my house (I'm at my mom's at the moment). But I'll get back to you all very soon for sure.

So. Summer. It ended just last week and gave way to autumn without me even noticing. I think yesterday was the first day in which I detected the first dip in temperature here in Georgia, although of course it was a minor one. I think the low for next week will be in the 50s and the high at 70; a nice change-up nevertheless! Finally I can go out on my back deck and read without getting too hot. I've always preferred hot weather over cold but I've really gotten sick of it these past few months. There must be something wrong with me...

... or maybe I exaggerate. After all, who can't enjoy a scene like this?

All I think about when I go into the kitchen is pumpkin pie:

I can't wait to start wearing my cold weather clothes again:

I look forward to long bike rides not heard of since April:

With fall, there's more of a sense of anticipation than there is with spring. Spring is the beginning, a chance for renewal, but it will soon lead to the end. Fall is a signifier of what's to come. And a beautiful signifier at that:

A Matter of Life and Death

2010-09-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

That's what writing can feel like sometimes, isn't it? We stare across that blank abyss of our notebook or screen and sometimes, for that first moment that will hopefully not stretch into a plague of moments, we feel lost. We want so badly to assemble our minds and hearts and souls into words befitting of all of Man that we become anxious, even depressed, when the words don't come.

I'm not good enough, this is a losing battle...

That's where we're wrong.

Each and every one of us has wonderful stories to tell and the capacity to fully realize them. We are unique and we are passionate. The written word has been our teacher, our mentor, our refuge for so long that nothing can stop our own.

Then we come up against writer's block or rejection and begin to disbelieve ourselves.

But our weakness is not lack of talent. It is impatience. We want instant publication success; and when that self-promise fades, doubt gains up on us and pulls down our defenses. Helpless before it, we can only watch as our dreams lose its luster. But I promise you this is not the end.

Find a REASON, and your story will come soon enough.

Don't EVER give up. Don't EVER quit.

Believe in yourself when no one else does.

Prove them all wrong because they ARE.

And remember to just breathe.

That Age Old Question of Revision

2010-09-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

It’s what we do. No matter the career, there’s some sort of revision going on, that something that we do to better ourselves. Runners run that extra mile, police officers practice their aim, chefs sample their creations, doctors . . . I dunno, watch ER. And writers sift through their brains and look at what they’ve written to decide if it’s good enough, making any and all necessary changes.

Your manuscript is a delicate, sensitive being who lives off your adoration and respect. Grateful as it is for any sort of constructive interaction, your manuscript is not picky when it comes to how you do it. Just do it. It has feelings of STEEL; you won’t hurt them. Leave it in the cold, and it’ll come back to haunt you with grammatical errors and wooden dialogue.

Revision for me is more of a pleasure than a hassle because I look forward to making my writing the best it possibly can be. The hard stuff is already out of the way (the ideas, the character development, etc). Now all I need to do is tighten up my writing, which means throwing out those surplus commas and adverbs and giving more life to my exposition. My word count is going down down down.

I had thought that way back in March, my first book was done. But then I began blogging and found a beta reader and I realized that I still have a lot of work to do. I’ve already gone through three rough drafts and now I’m on my fourth. 11 more chapters to go and I’ll be querying again! My goal is to be finished by November and… well, I really think that next year I’ll get an agent. I’ve been at this for four years and I finally feel as if my efforts are going to pay off.

How about you, dear minions? How often do YOU revise and what do you look for in the process?

Fall 2010 Entertainment Preview

2010-09-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

Here are my (biased) picks for the upcoming entertainment season:

◊ Brandon Flowers – Flamingo, September 14, 2010

You know Flowers as the lead singer of The Killers, the insatiably quirky Las Vegas band whose lyrics don't make any shred of sense. But we don’t care. Flamingo runs the gamut from electronica, gospel, showtunes, blues, and rock ‘n roll, always with a twist. Sure to be highly danceable.

◊ Junko Onishi – Baroque, September 14

Some of the finest jazz around is that of Japanese pianist Junko Onishi. Her music is reminiscent of the greats in jazz, from Thelonious Monk to Duke Ellington. She plays with such passion, verve, and self-restraint, she may very well one day be considered a legend herself. And don’t you just love the album cover? It’s her first in a decade.

◊ Maroon 5 – Hands All Over, September 21

Maroon 5

is the funkiest and sexiest pop/R&B out there. Their 2002 debut Songs About Jane got me hooked in a way that made me insusceptible to repeat listening annoyance. Then came along their sophomore album, It Won’t Be Soon Before Long, which had its fair share of great songs but also those that seemed to pander too much to mainstream pop music, which is not something I listen to on a regular basis. Yet despite that, they keep me running back for more. I’m under their spell and loving every minute of it. Call me, Adam, and let’s go on a Sunday morning drive together. <3>

◊ Thievery Corporation –It Takes A Thief, September 21

A silky amalgamation of Jamaican rhythms, Asian-inspired beats, space-age impulses, and even some new-age jazz, among many other international flavors, Rob Garza and Eric Hilton of the indie band Thievery Corporation will be making their triumphant return with a compilation of their most infectious songs to date. They will, as Matthew Cooke said, "return you to the serenity of nothing."

◊ You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger, September 22

Directed by Woody Allen, you may already know what Stranger is about, seeing as how every other of Woody’s films center around lightly comic verboten romance. Only this time, we get to see Josh Brolin as a flirty struggling author, Naomi Watts as his wife, and Antonio Banderas as the wife’s boss and romantic interest, among other familiar faces. Oh, and it takes place in London.

◊ Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, September 24

Michael Douglas reprises his kick-ass 1987 Oscar-winning role as Gordon Gekko, the Wall Street manipulator who pretty much coined the mantra, "Greed is good." After many a shady corporate raid, he was finally caught and thrown in prison. Once his stint is up in 2001, he finds himself a commoner in a world he once dominated, and he partners up with a young investment banker (Shia Labeouf), who happens to be his daughter’s (Carey Mulligan, wonderful in An Education) fiance, to further his chances of regaining what he lost. The timing is too spot-on, owing to our current economic reality.

◊ Fair Game, November 5

Now here’s what the world doesn’t get to see too much of: spy thrillers based off of real stories. Covert CIA agent Valerie Plame (here again with Naomi Watts) has her status revealed when her husband (Sean Penn) writes a 2003 op-ed alleging the Bush administration was altering intelligence about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. This may turn out to be more of a documentary/bio-pic than an action-packed thriller, but I’m counting on it being riveting.

◊ Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows,
November 19

Must I elaborate? We’re nearing the end, folks!

◊ Black Swan, December 1

Starring Natalie Portman as an ambitious ballet dancer, Black Swan is a psychological thriller in the most unlikely setting. Trouble comes a knockin’ when a newcomer (Mila Kunis), out for the lead in the production of Swan Lake, impresses the director (Vincent Cassel), and the two women are forced to decide whether they stand as twisted friends or dark foes. Already Portman’s performance is generating Oscar buzz so watch out for this one!

◊ Gulliver’s Travels, December 22

Odds are, Gulliver’s Travels, about the titular newspaper mail-room clerk/journalist who shipwrecks on Lilliput, the island of little people called Lilliputians, will be cheesy. But if you’ve ever seen any number of Jack Black’s movies (Nacho Libre is his funniest), then you know you’ll be in for some laughs. The guy has a range of quirky and uproarious facial expressions, not to mention the comedic timing that is so critical to the success of every comedy film. Bring on the cheese, I say. Just dance for us.

◊ Boardwalk Empire, September 19

What do you get when you combine HBO, gangsters, period drama, and Martin Scorsese? The best film – er, television, on cable.

Set in Atlantic City during the dawn of Prohibition, Boardwalk Empire is just that: a playground on a New Jersey boardwalk for the rich and powerful and sleazy. Steve Buscemi as Enoch "Nucky" Thompson is both the town’s corrupt treasurer and ruler of Atlantic City, and soon to be the go-to guy for illegal alcohol. Familiar faces are bound to show up, including Al Capone and Lucky Luciano, the father of organized crime. This was a show made by men, for men; but this woman won’t be able to get enough of it.

◊ Dexter, the return, September 26

As someone who watches very little TV, imagine my astonishment when I sat through Episode 1 of Showtime’s Dexter early last year. What compelled me to watch the series was my desire to get in touch with another’s viewpoint of the vigilante, a type of character I myself write about. And man, am I glad I did!

Dexter Morgan, played by Golden Globe-winning actor Michael C. Hall, is a Miami-based forensics analyst who moonlights as a serial killer hell bent on exterminating other serial killers. The guy is faintly charming and agreeable to be around, if not exactly gregarious; absolutely no one should suspect him of wrongdoing (is it wrongdoing?). He dates the emotionally scarred Rita (Julie Benz) as a cover-up against his true antihero ways, and he helps his half-sister Debra (Jennifer Carpenter), a foul-mouthed detective working in the same department as him, in their search for the truth about their parents. In the meantime, he’s got a job studying blood spatterings at various crime scenes. No matter what the cost, he must be the one to find and murder the culprit before the rest of the Miami Metro Police Department does, in order to satisfy the "Dark Passenger" within him.

The emotions are effective and the visuals and soundtrack exceptional. The makers of the show do not skimp on the gore nor do they overdo it. All in all, it’s not to be dismissed as just another crime-drama.

What’s especially electrifying about the return of our favorite vigilante is confronting the aftermath of the shocking cliffhanger at Season 4’s finale. Questions went off like fireworks in the minds of Dexter’s viewers as we wondered, what in God’s name is going to happen next?

One thing's for sure: you can expect some fresh blood.

What's gotten YOU giddy with anticipation this fall?

Attack of the 50ft Cliche!

2010-09-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

It's a bird...

it's a plane...

it's... a cliche?

(by golly this is so stop using it!)

CLICHE. One of many writer BEWARE words guaranteed to make us SQUIRM... or does it?

Nowadays it seems the CLICHE is a "creatively" acceptable shortcut. A suit without a tie, an enemy with benefits, a birthday cake with the name spelled wrong. We tolerate the CLICHE when we really shouldn't! What we need to do is think outside the box I mean cylinder.

If you're looking for a foolproof way out of the monstrous CLICHE's grip, if you wanna show the CLICHE who's boss...

... then you've come to the right place.

5 Common Common Sayings

(and how to stop them)

1.} He/She was as white as a sheet.

Really now? There are a jagillion things in our universe that are white and yet we always stick to "sheet?" As if a sheet is somehow magical and transcends all known life, so much so that we have to pay everlasting tribute to it?

CURE: Google Images. Type in "white" and feast your eyes on awesome white goodness. Such as: bird poo, cloud, Terrence Stamp's hair, notebook paper, 43% of take-out boxes, the right half of a contact case, white itself. Think about it:

He was as white as white itself.

She was as white as the right half of a contact case.

I could go on!!!

2.} Spontaneous Combustion

What's so spontaneous about a spontaneous combustion spontaneously spontaneous combusting everywhere? Spontaneously?

CURE: A good dose of plain language. Maybe a slap to the face with a fish.

3.} You look like you've just seen a ghost.

And you, m'dear, look like you've just seen a cliche. Frankly, I'd prefer the ghost. At least they have an audience for them.

CURE: Your own personal fears. What makes you shudder? What scares the sh!t out of you? Examples:

You look like you've just seen Michael Jackson!

You look like you've just seen a talking doughnut!

You look like you've just seen your wife! Eating!

4.} The grizzled veteran.

This grizzled cliche turns up in a lot of crime fiction in the form of an older detective/police officer with all the swag of a grumpy geezer and such burning questions as, "Will he or will he not retire?" and "Does he or does he not have a bromance going on with Young Stud Cop?" Tase him down, I say, quickly!

CURE: Thesaurus. Think of the possibilities:

The decrepit veteran.

The geriatric veteran.

The bullsh!t-spouting veteran.

And for those looking for a completely different type of veteran:

The sensible veteran.

The punk veteran.

The prancing veteran.

The manic-depressive who talks to his kitchen table veteran.

5.} Cold As Ice

Baby you're as cold as ice, cold as ice, I can feeeeeeeeeeel it on my skiiiiiiiin. Cold as ice, cold as ice, ooh ooh, cold as ice, I know.

CURE: Unless you're an 80s song, "cold as ice" leaves the reader as cold as a skating rink, as cold as a Klondike bar, as cold as something frozen, as cold as my heart, as cold as a furless polar bear, as cold as a cold, as cold as a cup of coffee left out on the counter all day, as cold as liquid nitrogen, as cold as Nova Scotia, as cold as an igloo, as cold as the 16th century artifact museum, you know, the one in Istanbul, as cold as dead bodies, as cold as Vick's Vaporub, as cold as Vick's Vaporub left out in the cold, as cold as creek water, as cold as Pluto, as cold as Uranus, as cold as that other planet, as cold as a glass of pop..........

What other cliches do you want to see banished forever?

Lies, Lies, and More Lies

2010-09-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

For my starting post on the lies of Amanda Sablan, scroll on down and take a gander.

I intentionally made it hard because it‘s so much more fun that way. For me, anyway. ; ]

First up, the LIES.

-- Danielle is my middle name. What made me think of this lie was the fact that my youngest brother does not have one.

-- My next-door neighbor is semi-unfortunately NOT Vince the ShamWow guy. I say semi-unfortunately because he kind of lost a little credibility with the whole hooker incident... But everyone knows Germans make okay I’ll stop right there.

-- I play baseball on occasion but I’ve never hit anyone over the head with anything. I do have a tendency of breaking things, though, so it’s only a matter of time...

-- See first lie.

-- 5’9, ha! I wish. I stand at 5’5.

-- Nope, didn’t type anything in an igloo. But that’s still me in the picture! ;]

So what does this all MEAN?

(all right, all right, not invincible, but not unfortunate enough to have suffered a broken bone)

Thanks for playing!

PS I promise my next post to be an informative one so stay tuned!

Haiku Blogfest

2010-09-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

What follows is my entry for Stephanie Thornton's Haiku Blogfest. Quickly sign up if you haven't already! The glory is yours for the taking in only 17 words (or 16, seeing as how I cheated).

He gently held her hand

As nascent longing loomed between them

It would never be spoken.

~ Amanda Sablan

You and me, we're gonna dance.

2010-08-31T00:57:00.000-07:00

Behold my entry for JC Martin’s bad-ass Fight, Fight, Fight Blogfest! It is in fact an excerpt from my novel, The Age of Tomorrow. The location is outside a park in Yokohama Chinatown.

All suggestions welcome and very much encouraged.

With frantic hearts they stood where they were, unclear where to go from there or how to go about doing it.

“What’s the matter, Masamune?” Shang-Zheng taunted. He was back on his feet but nonetheless swaying slightly. “That katana of yours ain’t workin’? Doesn’t do so well in the twenty-first century, does it?!”

Something pricked at Saname, nearly unintelligible.

How does he know Masamune’s name?

She looked at him, but he wouldn’t look at her.

On Shang-Zheng’s command, Yanoshida held up a palm and bent his fingers inward, kindling a sorcerous voltage that sparked and palpitated, like a living, breathing heart. His face became an even tighter mask of concentration as the volts coalesced into a sword, lightning sparks born of the metal charging all around it.

“Unless you’re a Spiritus,” Shang-Zheng finished. He stepped back from Yanoshida, who was testing out his makeshift weapon, twirling the hilt and knuckling the curved blade.

“Nobody’s watching, I’ve made sure of it. So my buddy here ain’t gonna hold back.”

Saname flexed her free hand into a fist.

……………

“Wish me luck,” Bishamon said, throwing back his arms and shoulders to pump himself up before he hurtled at Shang-Zheng and Yanoshida.

Moving back to let Yanoshida take the hit, Shang-Zheng stood to the side, watching them all, the heat of his scrutiny burning into their skin. Saname searched him out. How aggravating to feel a flush of mortification rising up her neck.

Yanoshida rocketed forward. His katana sliced the air just outside of Bishamon’s reach, who seemed hesitant to take the plunge. Once, twice, three times Yanoshida jabbed with a kenjutsuka’s kinetics, his body pythoning, while Bishamon ducked out of the way as if he were facing a mere mosquito. Still, Yanoshida showed no improvement with emoting, and he continued to fight slack-faced, eyes betraying no trace of panic or otherwise irritation.

At last Bishamon made a move to attack, his right fist altering into pure white energy. Yanoshida careened to the left just as Bishamon charged, and for a split second, the two had their backs to each other. Using the momentum from his dodge, Yanoshida leapt up into the air and spun around, laying down a savage kick to the back of Bishamon’s skull. He stumbled, but thankfully recovered himself before hitting the ground, while Yanoshida made a light landing.

Without so much as a second of rest, Yanoshida thrust his katana at Bishamon’s face, who threw back his head and returned the blow with a kick of his own. Even though he was an average-sized man, Yanoshida was still half Bishamon’s size. The kick toppled him onto his back, where he lay motionless.

Bishamon moved toward him, cautiously. He sensed before Saname did that his foe was not yet down for the count. Like a bird jarred loose from its nest, Yanoshida sprang up. Blood dripped from a fresh gash on the side of his face. There must have been a bakudoreiki hidden in Bishamon’s last attack. He slashed at Bishamon’s hands, which were covering up his throat, but was shoved back with the force of another kick. And then came what looked to Saname like a divine bonfire, flames erupting from the ends of Bishamon’s fingers.

With just the tip of his katana, Yanoshida lifted himself off the ground and whirlpooled in mid-air. His hands grasped, and he seized the life out of the oncoming flames, deep astonishment Bishamon’s sole counterattack. Yanoshida landed on his stomach several feet away and quickly got up, driving his katana in the direction of Bishamon’s legs.

One fell swoop later, and Bishamon had the fizzing katana in his belly.

Saname screamed out her ferocity. The electric shock had paralyzed him. His muscles were contracted and the sharp edge wouldn’t dislodge. There was no blood. He blinked twice, trying to focus his energies. A strange resonance came from the back of his throat. But then the electrical current seemed to peter out. The breaths Bishamon took were clear and cool and he smirked sedately.

The katana had not actually gone into his skin; his flab had rejected it.

He licked his dry lips and said, “While mos’ folk pride themselves on their not quite on par offense, I, however, focus on the exact opposite.”

EDIT:

I know my entry is very disjointed, but all of my action scenes would be because they're just not short enough for a blogfest. : ]

The katana that Yanoshida created was a METAL katana, just with an elemental element to it. There's a good scientific explanation for how he was able to do that but this isn't the place for it.

Also, I'm one of those writers who leaves a lot open for interpretation, particularly a character's actions. So all I can say is go with your instinct.

(in the meantime, I'll be working on making this approach better, as there should certainly be a fine line between "open for interpretation" and just plain confusing)

When it comes to writing, I am completely self-taught, so I understand that I've still got a lot to learn. But already I have made great strides with the support of the blogging community. In short, you guys rock! <3

Totally Rad Awards

2010-08-29T16:57:00.000-07:00

The biggest thank-you I can possibly muster goes out to four outstanding bloggers: Clarissa Draper for awarding me the Lovely Blog Award, Olivia for the Daily Scoop of Chaos Award, Vatche for the Creative Writer Blogger Award, and last but not least, VR Barkowsky for the From Me To You Award. I am just overwhelmed, so thank you again!

I’m still wondering if I deserve all of these awards, but this I am certain of: the following bloggers are more than worthy:

Wild Rose @ SpaceCowgirl-Films, Poetry, Politics and the Like

Missed Periods @ Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares

Renae Mercado

DL Hammons @ Cruising Altitude

Anyway, The Creative Writer Award is where I post six lies and one truth about me, and YOU get to figure out which is true! Think you're up for the challenge?

1.) I have no middle name. Pah, who needs 'em.

2.) My next-door neighbor is Vince the ShamWow guy. He makes the best ninja gingerbread cookies!

3.) I have never broken a bone. I'm invincible, I tell you. Invincible!

4.) A few weeks ago, I was playing baseball when I accidentally threw the bat and hit my pitcher over the head! Yowch!

5.) But if I do have a middle name, it's definitely BAD-ASS.

6.) I am 5'9.

7.) I am typing this in an igloo. Yes, there I am. See me?

Tune in next Sunday when I reveal what is fact and what is fiction.

As for my upcoming blog post… I’ve decided to take part in JC Martin’s Fight, Fight, Fight Blogfest, which will be held on August 31 (it’s a Tuesday, meaning I’ll be back a day ahead of schedule to terrorize the blogosphere). If you’ve got the guts, strap on your boxing gloves and sign up!

Weird & Wacky Japan(ese Architecture)

2010-08-25T00:00:00.001-07:00

DISCLAIMER: If you or anyone you know is an expert on geometry, please exercise caution while near the following structures. Heart attacks and seizures have been known to occur out of extreme giddiness.

Space is a precious commodity in Japan. By far one of the most densely populated countries on the planet, it requires big bucks to purchase real estate, and even more for spaces that in the West would be considered average-sized. This is why the vast majority of Nihon-jin live in rented apaato. Either that, or condominiums, which the Japanese have dubbed manshons, even though they’re not big at all.

When you consider the all-too staggering reality of population numbers (estimated to be at 127,420,000), versus a mere 30% of land mass the size of California available for agricultural, industrial, and residential use (the rest of the country is heavily forested and mountainous), then you can easily see Japan’s got a problem that won’t be going away anytime soon. Efforts have been made to demolish entire mountainsides to make way for more human-friendly purposes, but it’s just not a feasible practice in most areas when you put into account extremely steep elevations and the high risk of landslides that tag along for the ride. Not to mention the environmentalists out there.

But for those brave, rich soldiers who desire a yard, their options for a minimalist, under 500 sq. ft home are endless. Here are but a few of the designs modern Japanese architects have dreamed up, with some other buildings rounding it out:

Front, Back

Outside, Inside

Outside, Inside

Yes, Realtor-san? Where would I find a, I dunno,

normal place to live?

Now to change things up:

Sompo Japan Head Office, Tokyo

Mode Gakuen Cocoon Tower, Tokyo

Umeda Sky Building, Osaka

Landmark Tower, Yokohama

Yokose Rainbow Tower, Tokyo

Nakagin Capsule Tower, Tokyo

Fuji TV Building, Tokyo

ACROS Fukuoka Building, Fukuoka

Mikimoto, Tokyo

Sofitel Hotel, Tokyo

Tokyo Big Sight, Tokyo

Quote Time!

2010-08-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

"If you’re going to fail, fail gloriously."

–Cate Blanchett, Oscar-winning Australian actress

"Just standing there leaning to one side with your hands in your pockets, maybe tossing out the odd complaint once in a while, is the easiest thing you can do. But nothing cultural comes out of that, so though you feel shy or embarrassed, you do it."

– Naoki Urasawa, award-winning manga-ka

"I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them."

–Ezra Pound, US poet/critic

Brian Fantana: I’ll give this little cookie Veronica an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up. [opens cologne cabinet]
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard’s Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries... It’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
Ron Burgundy: It’s quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It’s a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time… Well… Let’s go see if we can make this little kitty purr.

– from the movie Anchorman: Legend of Ronald Burgundy

Got a shnazzy quote?

Put it in the comments!

Le Grande Révélation

2010-08-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

Allow me to kick things off with an apology for not making it to more entries to the Guess That Character Blogfest. Thursday was just too busy of a day for me so I only had time to read the entries of the bloggers I'm already familiar with, including a few more that I caught up with before they had already posted their big reveal. But I was too late on a couple of them and I'm sorry. Truce?

That aside, it took me a good deal of time to think up who could possibly play Pierce Chromwell (as someone who naively refers to herself as an actress, I did not stop just at those actors whom I believed captured the "look" of Chromwell, although that was no walk in the park either). I first settled on Ralph Fiennes:

Only to watch Wall Street last night and realize that a younger Michael Douglas would make an even better fit:

Although nowadays, Mikey's 25 years too old for Chromwell. If only...

Michael Douglas perfectly encapsulates whom I picture Pierce Chromwell to be. At least in terms of the characters he has played on film, he is a suave, duplicitous, strangely good-looking alpha male with the slicked-back hair and stylish dress sense that Chromwell so effortlessly dons. He can talk his way out of anything and woo you to his side. Confidence oozes out of him like sludge, which is only enhanced by his wicked grin, a grin in which you feel, deep down, something is lurking. And who can forget that Michael Douglas is first and foremost a ladies man.

But let's not leave Ralph Fiennes in the cold: he's got that brooding, contemplative look going on that is just right for when Chromwell is alone with only his thoughts to keep him company. He seems to be tall and slender, which matches Chromwell's so-so muscular build. And again, the tawny hair. Don't you just want to run your hands through it? (Unless you're a Cadere. Then Chromwell may very well feel the need to eat you).

The only thing missing from both these men are Chromwell's golden eyes and long fingers.

So, to recap:

Douglas ---> strange good looks, clean-shaven, attitude, style

Fiennes ---> broodiness, brownish-yellow hair

(both of these men pretty much have Chromwell's build)

It's interesting that most of you thought Chromwell had blue eyes and even curly black hair (one of you even suggesting he looks like Richard Grieco); but I wanted him to look more like a sophisticated hotelier rather than a dark, brooding "creature of the night," and a lighter hair color suited my image of that. As for the eye color, I didn't have any other character with golden eyes so I decided to make his different in order to balance it all out.

Nonetheless, you ALL had some excellent, mostly right, guesses, so cupcakes for impressing me! Thank you all for participating and have a fantastic, cannibalism-free weekend!

Guess That Character!

2010-08-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Daiker over at her blog unedited is holding a character blogfest, in which you lucky, lucky readers will have the chance to read a little bit about my main antagonist and then form your opinions as to what he may look like. And then tomorrow will be the big reveal!

No, this is not a snippet from my manuscript as I got confused by the rules. But oh well. Let's get started:

As with every other human being, whether they care to admit it or not, there are two sides to me. What sets me apart from the rest of the crawling masses is that I do not live in denial. I know exactly what kind of man I am and to what purpose I fall under. That said, the cover-up is an indispensable tool for the hospitality industry, an industry in which its customers are likely averse to cannibalism. Therefore, what you see provides only the barest glimpse into the “true” me. The person whose premier indulgence is not luxury, not women, not even conflict, but flesh.

Spiritus are those rare human beings who are capable of living boundless lives free from aging, and that is what I am. As of this year, I have been alive for 211 years, since the night of my rebirth in 1799. Who I was before then is shrouded in mystery even to myself, as I have since forgotten even my given name. All I can remember is a faceless mother and her blackberry pies, the only taste that I believe has ever rivaled that of a human victual. The non-Spiritus, or Cadere, do not yet know of our existence, which is why laws have been put into place strictly prohibiting the showing of our powers and immortality. For that reason, I have gone through numerous facial reconstructions and name changes, the last of which was Pierce Chromwell.

You may think immortality to be a wondrous experience, but it has its constraints. After decades upon decades of being alive, you start to lose interest in most things and feel as if you’re living a wasted life. This realization, this “awakening,” if you will, led me to where I am today: the frenzy of the American media and the eventual bane of attractive, lonely women everywhere.

My obligation is that of release. I release those miserable Cadere from the world that have no chance of ever redeeming themselves. If it is meant to be, they will return, as Spiritus. If not, they will come to thank me.

Write-Kwon-Do

2010-08-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

Here at the Writer Dojo, you’re gonna learn how to KICK ARSE! With WORDS! Isn’t that just SUPER?! If the entire world could only know what lies beyond, we’d live in a much more peaceful world INDEED. If you study these seven simple tips, you will learn a system of self-defense against those pesky writer stresses! But only if you’re TOUGH enough.

In no particular order, here are the 7 habits of writers who KICK ARSE:

1.) Writers who kick arse love what they do.

There will be times when you just want to kung-fu someone because of how much you’re sick of so-and-so’s annoying little quirk or what to do about Plot Hole #387141. But if you find yourself having to regularly chain your legs to your computer, find yourself a new profession, post-haste!

2.) Writers who kick arse keep up with publishing news.

You do understand that writing is a business? You need to know what’s going on on the business side of things, because what if you were to never find out about, say, the hubbub surrounding e-publishing? Literary agents could have gone extinct and you’d still be sending out queries, bringing shame down on your comrades!

3.) Writers who kick arse swallow their pride.

Some of what people suggest may not be the right thing to do for your book (especially if these people are the enemy, with desires only of your sabotage). It may not jibe with a character, or it may not be the direction to take when you’re already confident the one you chose is for the best. Ultimately it is up to you, but you should, at the very least, consider someone’s advice. Don’t hold yourself back in denial thinking your book is as splendid as a cherry tree under the sun right off the bat. There will be alterations in the works, and you may regret skipping over a certain piece of advice in the future. Under NO circumstances should a writer lose face.

4.) Writers who kick arse do not fear distinction.

As in, being different. Certainly you want your book to "fit in" with the rest of the club (peer pressure is a rising problem among unpublished manuscripts), but if you take an exceptionally unique stepping stone toward something well-established, people will thank you for it. Interpretation trumps idea.

5.) Writers who kick arse have a platform.

It is not enough just to write. How do you intend on selling your book if you do not have some way of getting it out there? Blog, attend writer’s conventions, marry a celebrity, do something that will get people familiar with and excited about you and your book. Establish a following and you may just establish some sales. Cower in fear from public speaking engagements and you won’t reach that point. Here is an old proverb to bear in mind: Man with only keyboard shall go hungry.

6.) Writers who kick arse treat their agent with respect.

This is assuming you were wise enough to look for one. Literary agents put themselves on the line for you. They are willing to do the work toward publication even if it may mean lackluster sales of your book. And yet they believe in you and your book, so it is the least you can do to listen to their wisdom and let them know that you, too, are prepared for the journey, however unpleasant. It is simply dishonorable otherwise.

7.) Writers who kick arse persevere.

It is going to take time to come up with a winning idea (I mean, interpretation; I was testing you), polish your craft, round up an agent, and achieve publication. You must develop discipline. If you are not willing to put in the hours, and perchance spend however long it takes to get published, ask yourself: Do I really want this?

The answer better be YES! Do you think anybody would roundhouse kick your manuscript in the face after it’s gone through my Write-Kwon-Do program? Forget about it!

ADOPT these seven habits and you are on your way to the utmost in GLORY and WISDOM!

Weatherfest Alert!

2010-08-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

What follows is my piece for Nick's Weatherfest. It's an original, written just for this blogfest.

Rain fell more severely, a sideways barrage of icy and unforgiving water. Lucas hefted his bag further up his shoulder and trudged on across the sleek beach, his boots sinking an inch into the sand. He tried to shield his face with his hand, which peeked through the slit in his heavy plastic coat, but he had to squint anyway.

Gingerly he looked up. A collection of clouds that looked more like smoke from a volcanic eruption hovered over the Indian Ocean. Waves the size of small houses collided with the rocks jutting from the green sea. There was no one else around.

Lucas was as far up the beach as he could go without obstructing the view. He was a photographer for National Geographic, where it was his job specifically to take photographs of the perfect storm. This was what had brought him thousands of miles from Tampa to Koh Samui Beach, in Thailand, home of what he considered to be the world's most pristine beaches.

For a moment he stood mesmerized. A crack of lightning zigzagged across the sky over the peaks in the distance, making an immediate repeat performance just south of them. Distinct smells of seaweed and salt bombarded him, even in the cold. He didn't want to leave. As dangerous as the conditions were becoming, he wanted to stay, engulfed in this solitary tempest. He felt strangely vibrant, ecstatic, alive.

Almost reluctantly, he slipped off his bag and set it on a nearby flat rock, where he set up his water-proof camera. Gusts of wind slapped at him and drove him sideways. His boots dug into the wet sand and he strengthened his grip on the camera.

Writer's Digest 11th Annual Short Short Story Competition

2010-08-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

As goes their headline, “We’re looking for fiction that’s bold, brilliant… and brief. Send us your best in 1,500 words or fewer.”

1,500 words. Not too bad, right? I know some of you guys can write twice that in one sitting, sometimes even more. And you have until DECEMBER 1, 2010, to come up with your dazzling idea and then get it down. That’s over three months!

The Irresistible Prizes:
1^st Place: $3,000 and a trip to the Writer’s Digest Conference in NYC
2^nd Place: $1,500
3^rd Place: $500
4^th – 10^th Place: $100
11^th – 25^th Place: $50 gift certificate for Writer’s Digest Books

The entry fee is $20, but that’s a small price to pay for such a terrific opportunity!

Go here for the official rules and regulations, and show those fools what you're made of!

Enjoy your weekends!

It's That Time Again...

2010-08-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

... the time for fabulous awards! Thank you very much to Lynda Young for awarding me The Versatile Blogger Award! What’s exciting is that I now get to pass it on to a few bloggers who are truly worthy. I shan’t be lazy like I was last time.

Anyway, here are my rules for bestowing such a fine award:

-- You must be a follower of mine.

-- You must not already have it (as DL Hammons knows).

-- You must bake and send me a raspberry cheesecake. What, you think I kid? This is HIGHLY important! I want my cheesecake!

-- You must link back to me, whether via a blog post or simply some side-bar/page love as a caption for the award.

-- You must continue to be awe-inspiring. Not that I worry.

So here’s this batch of winners:

Terry Stonecrop @ Gardner West - Private Eye

Stephen Tremp @ Breakthrough Blogs

Justin Parente @ In My Write Mind

Tara @ Aleatoire

Francine @ Romancing the Blog

Next up: Weatherfest scheduled for

this upcoming Saturday, August 14.

BE THERE.

Or we'll find you.

Attention Shoppers

2010-08-10T09:16:00.001-07:00

Yes, you, with the armful of clothes and domestic goods. I am talking to you, assuming you weren't sure and believed me to be a schizophrenic. I am saying hello to you. I understand you may be having a bad day (half the time I am too), but please at least acknowledge my presence. I am here for you, to assist you, to serve you in matters of shopping security. Whether by smile or simply uttering "hello," prove to me that you are not ignoring me.

I am not suggesting you embark on a lengthy conversation with me; I really don't care (although I would still oblige you if it didn't take up too much of my time). Because what would you do if you had an inquiry about something? A price check, a shirt not your size, someone to locate your lost child?

Well... damn, all right, I'd still have to help you (it's my job). But I would be much happier to if you could, at the very least, pretend to appreciate my potential assistance. I work 4-6 hours a day for minimum wage, I walk 4-6 hours a day listening to the same crappy music over and over again, and I could list a thousand things I'd rather be doing. Retail, I'm not sorry to say, does not fall into my career interests. So I'm not in a terribly good mood. And yet, I try to make your day by being polite and forthcoming.

By the way, would you like to sign up for our store charge card and receive 10% off on all your purchases today?

High Drama Alert!

2010-08-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

My entry for DL Hammon's crazy awesome High Drama Blogfest Giveaway is an excerpt from my second novel in progress. Enjoy, cry, throw various fruits and vegetables at, whichever:

Just when she thought that it was over between them, he'd shown up at her door one evening with roses and his sacred word that he wasn't looking to rush her.

They slept together, but he could tell she wasn't into it, which was what she dreaded. There was an emptiness inside her and Akira had glimpsed it.

“Was I . . . just not any good?” he said, standing stark naked at the foot of the bed. There was a look of instability on his face.

She shook her head, miserable. The bedcovers were pulled over her nude form even in the heat of the room. She would hate for him to see her body again. It was as if he were suddenly a stranger and for him to see her would be wrong.

“Then what was it? Tell me so I can make it better!”

“You can’t make it better.”

“I can try.”

But you can’t, you can’t . . .

“Rie.” Akira’s tone was deceptively neutral as he put a hand on her leg. “Quit being a priss and talk to me.”

She glared at him before knocking his hand away. “I’m a what? What did you just call me?”

“How hard is it to just tell me what I did wrong?! Was I too rough, was it not slow enough –”

“Damn it, it has nothing to do with the sex! I just don’t . . .” She groaned and turned to the side, so inured to the feeling as to no longer endure it in its entirety. “I don’t love you . . .” And I don’t know how.

She sensed him staring down at her over the next minute or so. She wanted to fall asleep and for it to be morning, but of course it didn’t happen.

“And so what does that mean?” he asked. For someone who never took anything seriously, he had now ridden himself of all ebullience as he studied her. “That you don’t even want to try to get to that point?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” said Rie. Her lips and teeth compressed. Yes you do. You know what you want, you’re just too scared to get it.

Akira sighed emphatically. “Well whatever. I’m going home. You can call –”

“No, you are not going home because then when will we work things out?!” she yelled, sitting up. “You just stay right here!”

“And do what? You’re not helping yourself any more than you’ll let me help you,” he said, making valiant efforts not to sound argumentative.

“If you’ll just give me a minute to think it over I can! You’re too impatient!” She was beside herself with rage though it wasn’t at him.

“Will you please stop yelling!” he whined.

“Why should I?! What gives you the right to use such a snotty tone with me?!”

She had to look twice at Akira who was blurring in front of her. It was the first time she could remember being imperceptive from hope deferred. She could not focus on him, could not concentrate on what it was she needed to say and on whether he too was mulling over the toppling bridge that was their relationship. What she could distinguish was him shifting on the balls of his feet and his left arm clamping around his right. Her younger self would have secured the willpower to apologize and start again. But that was then. In May, she would turn twenty-two and that was old enough to have learned some heavy truths. Now that she’d lived life, her mouth would not move. She was braced for anything he threw at her.

While he put on his underwear in total disconnection from her, Rie felt herself losing the last of her control and she fought back. “You may not want to say anything,” she said, “but I know you. You won’t leave until we have a talk.” She licked her dry lips. “I – it’s hard for me to explain –”

“You know what? I don’t love you either. Not even close,” he said. This time around he sounded truly neutral. She sunk deeper into the covers, listening to him pull on the rest of his clothes and open and close the front door and start his father’s car.

An hour later she still could not get to sleep. She got out of bed and searched for her cigarettes in her purse. There weren’t any. The asshole had taken the last of them, including her lighter. Pelting her purse into the vase of roses, she again retired to her bed, her eyes fixed on the wet space on her dresser where the vase had been until sleep rolled over her.

Platform Contest & The Cure For ASPS

2010-08-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

According to the American Cancer Society, about 569,490 Americans are projected to die from cancer this year, accounting for 1 in every 4 deaths. It is the second most common cause of death in the US, exceeded only by heart disease. Many cancers (those caused by smoking and heavy drinking) are preventable, whereas some forms are not preventable and don’t even have a cure.

Alveolar Soft Part Sarcoma is one such cancer. It is a slow-growing tumor of unknown origins that arises mainly in children and young adults. A parent of a child diagnosed with the rare ASPS created an organization to address the disease:

http://www.cureasps.org/.

Theresa Milstein @ Substitute Teacher’s Saga is hosting a contest in support of ASPS. The deadline is August 29, and if you make it before then with a comment and some blog linkage, you may just receive a $25 gift card to the place of your choice.

If you can, raise awareness; raise money for this wonderful cause. Every little bit counts.

In cheerier(?) news, I will be posting tomorrow for another contest: DL Hammon’s High Drama Blogfest Giveaway. Stop by and check it out if you’ve got the time!

Have a scrumptious weekend!

Creating & Defining Your Character

2010-08-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

This is an extension of my other posts on characterization, Building A Memorable Protagonist and Why A Character Bios Is Critical.

Characters are very important to me. As a reader, I look for those characters, both primary and secondary, who possess distinction, depth, and most of all, humanity. They need to be fun to follow along, but they also must teach me something. As a writer, it is my goal to both entertain and enlighten. One without the other is not enough to satisfy me.

What follows is actually something I wrote for my acting classes in high school, but it is easily translated into a writer's tool. Observe:

EXPLORE: ~~Read and analyze the entire script.~~ Pay close attention to emotional impulses your material invokes in you. Take notes on the character’s life history and personality. Ask questions, particularly about the character you are ~~playing~~ writing:

□ What are their intentions?

□ What are their habits? Can you identify any mannerisms?

□ What is/are the setting(s)? Define their environment.

□ What gestures and vocal effects could you use for that character?

□ What is the theme, if any, of the story?

EXPERIENCE: Prepare for your role, and practice (writing in that character) as often as possible. ~~Go over your lines again and again, until not only is your memorization top-notch, but your ability to~~ display the character’s natural emotions. BECOME your character while establishing a connection. Walk the way they might walk (owing to their personality and/or disabilities, it may be different from how you walk). Change your voice to match the character and their situation. In your mind, create the location they are in, building on your senses and imagining, believing, that you are indeed there.

FOCUS: Rid yourself of all outside influences and distractions. Concentrate only on your material, remaining calm throughout.

ENERGIZE: Bring passion to your work. Be vibrant! In order to fully express your craft, you must have PASSION. Love what you do, and you will create characters that your readers will love to read about.

Are Readers Smarter Than Techies?

2010-08-02T12:18:00.000-07:00

Modern Earth got where it is today because of . . . well, our modern technologies. With the rise of the Internet in the 90s, followed by the boom in the early 21^st century and our subsequent attachment to our TVs, more and more information has made it to our data-laden brains. And a lot of that is being stifled, according to numerous studies by many US universities. How so?

All those headlines scrolling themselves into existence across the bottom of your morning news program and all those links enticing you to turn away for just a moment from an online article to buy this, do that, may be distracting you, and thereby preventing you from retaining as much information as you could if you were reading a book or newspaper article (do advertisements count as distraction?). “We are training our brains to pay attention to the crap,” notes neuroscientist Michael Merzenich in the June issue of Bloomberg Business. After a while spent in front of the computer or TV or smart phone, our brains tire out; but even before that, we must choose the information we want to keep. And the many headlines and links and videos are making it “haphazard,” even “mindless.”

(Perhaps this blog post isn’t helping the problem, but just remember to read a book right after reading this. Twice.)

Extreme or not, Nicholas Carr, author of The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, makes a convincing argument in favor of traditional readers. He believes that the Internet Age is unlikely to produce as many Einsteins, Edisons, or Tolstoys as previous eras, in light of the simple fact that Google’s “you type it, you get it” convenience wasn’t around then. “(These men) . . . owe their mastery, in part, to the difficulty of achieving it,” upholds Carr. Studying hard-to-find texts may just have bolstered their phenomenal intelligence.

This isn’t to suggest that television and the Internet should be banned. It has connected developed regions of the world to undeveloped regions; it has offered a way for places such as China, with its 200 million blogs, and The Middle East to rebel against their governments; and it has, arguably, gotten us to think more, even teenagers. But denial of its reasonable downfalls is sweeter than acceptance.

I’d like to say I’m in the middle on this, but what’s YOUR take?

My Handwriting

2010-07-31T15:53:00.000-07:00

DL Hammons over at Cruising Altitude tagged me yesterday with this handwriting meme and I just thought I'd go ahead and get it out there.

Most people write with their writing utensil resting against their middle finger, but for me, it's my ring finger, which may explain why everyone always says I have such unique handwriting. On some days, it's neat, while on others it's messy, especially if I'm writing in cursive or with a pen. Thank God for keyboards is all I can say.

It's not as blurry if you click on it; I just couldn't upload what I got from my scanner so I had to use a camera:

Here's what you do: On a plain sheet of paper jot down the following:

1. Name/Blog Name
2. right handed, left handed, or both?
3. favorite letters to write
4. least favorite letters to write
5. write out the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
6. write in CAPS:
BABOON
SPLENDOR
ONOMATOPOEIA
FLIP-FLOPS
HUZZAH!
7. favorite song lyrics
8. tag 7 people
9. whatever else strikes your fancy

My super-lucky taggees are: Lynda Young, Cruella Collett, Vatche, Nicole MacDonald, The English Writer, and Tara @ Aleatoire.

Yes, I know there's 6 and not 7. I hadn't realized at first...

~Have lots of fun!

Randomness and Suchness

2010-07-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you all VERY MUCH for your lovely enthusiasm with Of Zombies and Jam! I wrote that on my sleepless Monday night and, well... See, I sometimes think out loud when I'm writing, and a cousin of my mom's boyfriend just happened to be right upstairs, unbeknownst to me until I heard the unmistakable sound of a computer keyboard... Yeahhhh... I'm not the only night owl, apparently.

Here's the rundown:

Me: Eduardo. Eduardo the zombie. Yeah, I like that! How many other zombies out there have Eduardo as their name?! *schoolgirl giggle*

Alejandro, Alejandro, Alle-Allejandro, Alle-Allejandroooo
Don't call my name . . .
{thankfully, the Lady GaGa song was kept in my head}

But Alejandro's even better! Or maybe . . . maybe Sergio? *giggle* No, I'd have to make him gay then. But . . . that's funny! A fabulous gay zombie! Who does hair!

Nah, Alejandro. Has a nice ring to it. *giggle*
{I still really like the idea of a gay zombie, FYI}

Upstairs: click-clack-click

Me: ................
*pretends to be deeply engrossed in late-night texting*

Part 2 of Of Zombies and Jam coming up sometime next month!
(You know I like to surprise you)

So! How's everyone doing?! Enter any contests or blogfests lately? I've stumbled across so many but I just don't have the time or energy to enter all of them and do all the little associated things. The ones you see on my sidebar may just be it for me for a while, unless one comes along that I simply MUST MUST MUST enter, otherwise I'd be a friggin' fool. And I'm no fool.

Anywho, don't you find Thursdays to be the second greatest day of the week for anticipation? After today, you've got Friday, followed by that ever-delightful pair of Saturday and Sunday! Back when I was in school, I'd tell myself on each and every Thursday as I fell out of bed, "Only one more day until Friday, the ULTIMATE anticipation day. Just one more day, one more day..." Now though, I work on the weekends, so the magic has sort of vamoosed. Hopefully you are not in the same boat. If you are, then I guess just disregard this entire paragraph because it probably just made you envious.

Have delightful (pre)weekend fun!

Of Zombies and Jam, Pt. 1

2010-07-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

This is my story entry for Mia's ZOMG Giveaway, which you should totally enter. DEADLINE: July 30th

Of Zombies and Jam, Pt. 1

Running never felt so good.

Granted, it was more like a turbo-charged, sleepwalker’s shuffle; but no one’s ever come up with a word for that so running it was.

The only reason running would feel good at four in the morning on a chilly Arizona desert was because zombies never tired out (blame science and their gland-making abilities). And this particular zombie was on a mission.

Disregarding the drool dribbling in and out of his overalls, Alejandro galloped (gallop?! Could that be the descriptive word?!) onward across the sand and pebbles. The moonlight partially lit up his decaying limbs, their greenish-brown skin and his gaping mouth. Such beautiful, floppy dentures he had! Alejandro’s eleven teeth, each one like bloody chiclets, were complimented by a corroded tongue, but not so corroded that taste was merely a phantom sense. As unhealthy as an overdose of that delicious invention jam could be for a human, for a zombie, jam was actually what kept them running (pun intended). Sugar and artificial preservatives, anyone?

A local zombie in his hometown of Mexico City had told Alejandro a secret that which no one, apart from now the two of them, knew. A secret so secret that bad things would happen if it fell into the wrong hands . . . Very bad things . . .

Shortly after WWIII and the zombie takeover of Latin America, the secret to the zombie race’s regenerative powers, jam, was discovered by members of an anti-zombie terrorist outfit, The Pink Sombreros. While their faces and names remain shrouded in obscurity, most people can agree that The Pink Sombreros’ leader is probably, make that definitely, well, more like half-definitely, Chancho Secada, the former President of Mexico, overthrown in what should have been an assassination. But he got away by throwing at his zombie invaders what they detest most: JELLY. More accurately, jelly BOMBS (the extra juice in jelly is bad for zombie complexions). Since then, he has not been seen, but he has been smelled. Chancho always had a distinctive scent about him, that of imported Loreal For Men mixed with an air of desperation and kittens. NO emotion can get past a zombie’s sense of sense. NADA.

But it had become so that the sin that is jelly was now the only breakfast spread available in stores. Humans, having discovered what was once the secret, discontinued making said secret in an attempt to overpower the zombie race. Now jam was an endangered food, practically extinct, and zombies were dying like flies at a picnic.

So there Alejandro was, scurrying for what was going to be a ginormous vault of jam in all flavors, situated deep underground somewhere along the border between Arizona and California. Frantically, his arms bobbed up and down in front of him and he about ran headfirst into a cactus. When he realized something was wrong.

How could he have been so naïve?

Shadows eclipsed him and he rarrrrghed reflexively.

Weird & Wacky Japan(ese Fashion)

2010-07-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

Here in the West, the stereotype of conservatively dressed Asians abounds, and for good reason. It’s true. Behavior that conforms is good etiquette in Japan. But as Westernization grows stronger and stronger and traditional values erode, some of its young men and women dress rather strangely, in rebellious styles rarely seen anywhere else. While by no means widely worn, the street fashions that follow have still managed a foot-hold in Japanese culture. Prepare yourself...

Hey you! Are you tired of the constraints of traditional ideals on beauty, and thus interested in expressing your true self?! Then become a ganguro, and you will look just like those crazy Americans with their blond hair and fake oompa loompa tans and miniskirts and overabundance of jewelry! Stickers on face greatly encouraged.

Origins: deep in Shibuya in the 1990s

America likes the sexy, while Japan favors the kawaii (cute). Behold lolita fashion! Childishly Victorian in appearance, there are a variety of different sub-styles of lolita, from princess to gothic. Such fashion is supposed to allow young women the chance to feel young and beautiful, yet modest. The cost of material for a lolita outfit (call it a costume, and you may just get slapped) is very expensive, with single outfits in excess of US$300.

Possible Origins: the late 1970s by who we can all surmise was a perverted old man

Who says bandages are just for boo-boos? Kegadoru, roughly translated as "injured idol," is for one thing, and one thing only: getting men to drool. I guess this happens because their "protective, fatherly" instincts kick in . . . ? And then they realize, hey, she’s not my daughter, so . . . Really, it just denotes bondage.

Possible Origins: 2007 in Harajuku

Many of us women are willing to put aside comfort for the sake of beautiful footwear. But how far would you be willing to go, really? These ultra-high heels get their bizarre look from a horseshoe embedded in the soles. Hey, let's see who can walk the fastest in these things. On your mark, get set, call an ambulance!

Origins: Who the hell knows...

For boys who are unsure of their boyness, androgynous Japanese musicians came up with a solution: Visual Kei, or "visual style." Many young Japanese women are infatuated with guys who look like them. Bonus points if they dress in glamorous rock star garb and wear better make-up than they do! Now we know where that band Hanson got their style tips from...

Origins: the late 80s

{Others}

THIS IS HIGH FASHION RIGHT HERE.

Our Earliest Writing

2010-07-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

This dorky little poem right here was probably the earliest creative writing I’ve ever done. It’s all the way from the third grade and I’m surprised I can still remember it:

Lizards, lizards,

Blizzards of lizards,

A lizard named Gizzard,

Tamed by a wizard,

Lizards, lizards.

(As you can see, I had quite an obsession with lizards)

I of course wrote other things throughout my school days (starfish, Garfield, and baseball is all I recall), and enjoyed it too; but I honestly don't think I ever thought of becoming an author in all those years, not until junior high. Now here I am, anxiously awaiting a literary agent to come along and ~~save~~ represent me. So I guess all those school assignments and diary entries (I had a diary for a day, I think) shaped us into authors whether we realized it yet or not. Each opportunity that came our way was not just a method of improving those essential-to-society grammar/spelling/persuasive skills, but a professional writer's course in disguise.

Do you remember any of your earliest writings?

Care to share?

*hands out pastries, pours coffee* J

Oh, to be back!

2010-07-20T10:05:00.001-07:00

Check out my June 30th post for an idea of what I did over vacation. It really didn't stray much....

For four days I went on a diet. But it's not the kind you think. I went on a technological diet. No TVs, no computers, no phones even. Just relaxation (and of course, the occasional adventure) in the great outdoors. Accomplishing zilch is actually a wonderful feeling! It humbles you. Sure, I missed my cyber pals, but being away from you guys only makes me appreciate you more!

Taking some time off from everything also revitalized my thinking process. At one point while lounging at the campsite, I reflected on the manuscript I'm still shopping around and the changes I'd still like to make to it. Undistracted as I was, I could think with a clear mind. Alas, I'm not exactly ripe with new ideas, but I've got that little bit of inspiration to make my old ideas better.

Do you ever find yourself full of ideas after a vacation, or simply a time away from your writing?

Oh, and according to this, my blog is written like Dan Brown, and my book like Cory Doctorow, Margaret Atwood, and Vladimir Nabokov. Hmm...

Building A Memorable Protagonist

2010-07-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

Opening Memo: Whoo, I hope Bishamon wasn't too forward with any of you guys... A real nice guy though, don't you think? He may look tough with his biker clothes and dragon tattoo that covers up most of his bald head, but he's a softy at heart.

Anywaddle, I'm finally going on a vacation! For the first time in a YEAR! To North Carolina! And it's tomorrow! All the way until Sunday! And then I've got work that same day (meaning, my family and I will all have to wake up early to leave at about 11AM so I can get back here at 4PM in time for a shower). Ugh. So my next post probably won't be until Monday of next week, but I wish for you guys a wonderful rest of the week and an even better weekend!

And now for the main event:

It’s no secret that great stories are told from the POVs of great protagonists: people who leave unforgettable marks on your memory. But what, exactly, makes such a character? How do they evolve from being flat to three-dimensional? Many authors seem to think it has to do with their level of likability, then wham! Mission accomplished. After all, why continue reading if you’re too disgusted or annoyed or bored with them?

Therein lies the trap that many unpublished writers fall into.

Yes, of course your protagonist should have some likable qualities, and no, you don’t want them to be boring. However, if you let yourself get too caught up in making your protagonist bright and wonderful, sooner rather than later you’ll trip over the minefield called stilted characterization, otherwise known as unbelievable rubbish.

No human being is perfect; no human being is always agreeable and strong. We all have our weak moments and our unpleasant-to-be-around moments. It’s just the way we are. So what makes your novel’s protagonist any different? That is your bona fide lucky charm toward a memorable protagonist: harnessing a reader’s sympathy for them. Endow your protagonist with flaws and, dare I utter it, a little darkness, a little unlikability, and you’ve got someone worth reading about.

Why is that? Because through character growth, that dark, brooding, even somewhat hateful individual can grow into someone beautiful. Don’t you find that to be an uplifting, powerful statement on humanity? If a book’s protagonist can rise up from themselves, then why couldn’t the reader? Why can’t the same happen for you?

Here’s a passage from my novel, The Age of Tomorrow, as told by one of my characters, Okiku Meioshi:

It didn’t aspire anything at the time, but a friend of hers once said that even in the darkest of people, a ray of light can be found deep underneath it all. “All you have to do,” she’d said, “is probe long enough.” Not that Takeshi was a particularly dark person; he would just parade a sporadic misdeed, as did everyone else. He would complain to her about the pressures of journalism and his fuss that more and more people were switching to the Internet to get their news; “just another screen for them to stare at all day.” And when that man was fired up, there was no dousing him down. He’d shout and argue until his face looked as if someone had colored it with a red magic marker. After a short but pleasurable weekend, she would often feel inconsequential, replaceable around Takeshi…

We get the feeling that even though Takeshi may be a good guy, who knows how to care and have fun, he’s got his faults and annoyances. Your job as a writer is to balance the two, even with a character like Takeshi who’s not "a particularly dark person."

As for my main protagonist, Saname Ishikura, she is in many ways an anti-hero. She’s cocky, judgmental, aggressive on criminals, and distrustful of other people’s optimism and kindness, to the point where she cannot politely and properly socialize in a non-work setting. All of her emotions except for anger are kept internalized. But this is not without reason (the same must be said for antagonists). When we the reader come to learn more about her and how she came to be who she is, we begin to understand, maybe even identify with her. Her actions, though unjustified, are given explanation. As a result of that, we cheer on her newfound friends and become engrossed in our search for the better parts of her self; and ultimately, we cannot leave the story unread and unfinished.

Caderical Inventions

2010-07-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

Bishamon Shikonsai here, takin’ over the blogosphere! Japan’s havin’ one’a it’s slow days, so here I am. All I can really say ‘bou’ me is I hail from a tiny fishin’ town north’a Tokyo that may or may not be the Rosencrucian’s base’a operations, an’ I’m next-in-line fer Spirit Lord, after the lovely Izanami-dono.

The other day I was polishin’ the hood’a my Gallardo when I got ta thinkin’ again why I have one. Gracie Nichols, our resident physician, is firmly against such things because “Spiritus don’t need to drive, seeing as how we can teleport.” Well, aside from drivin’ bein’ good fer appearances among the unknowin’ masses, an’ the fact that it’s hard, especially at first, ta teleport long distances, cool cars are, uh, cool. An’ it’s somethin’ ta do. Us immortals need ways ta occupy our time, which cannot be shortened by aging.

So I’ve compiled a brief list’a things you Cadere (no contention meant) have invented that I jus’ don’t wanna live without. Otherwise, maybe that aging acceleration procedure done fer Spirits who’re sick’a livin’ wouldn’t be such a bad idea…

Er, ‘scuse me:

The aforementioned cool car. But only if it’s cool. Cadere need ‘em ta get aroun’, but if yer a Spiritus, why ride if ya can’t ride in style? ‘Sides, ladies love it.

Machine guns. They're loud and proud. Blows away enemies even if yer too tired ta use bakudoreiki (Spiritual power). Haven't you ever wanted ta know what it feels like ta shoot one'a these things? Man, what an awesome way ta lower stress!

Hotdogs with cheese. Yeah, we eat, but takoyaki an’ rice can get real borin’. Maybe I should cut back, but ta hell with it! Once a big guy always a big guy. I’m still alive at 204 years old, but don’t look a day over 35.

Cell phones. We can't read minds. An' nowadays, no one has a home phone. But more than that, they're jus' convenient.

Pachinko. Ya can’t win any money (ya jus’ exchange the pachinko balls fer token prizes, which are then traded in fer cash outside the parlor), but it’s a surprisingly fun way ta while away an hour.

The novel. Betcha didn’t think that The Tale of Genji by the Japanese noblewoman Murasaki Shikibu was regarded as the first novel, in the early eleventh century. Chew on that a little. Go on.

So ya see, you Cadere are jus’ as amazin’ as us Spiritus, regardless’a what any bigot might say. You’ve invented countless things we still use today, many’a which we all take fer granted. At leas’ as far as I know, the only major technologies attributable to Spiritus are airplanes (go figure) an’ grape juice. Also, an’ maybe this is only one’a my crazy delusions, but I’ve always thought Johnny Depp was a Spirit. You can never tell jus’ by lookin’ at someone, but how else does the guy look the same every year?

Before I go, I want a Cadere's opinion on this. What do YOU think is yer kind's coolest/most helpful invention? The most useless?

Comment it up!

Award Time!

2010-07-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd take time out of my admittedly unbusy Saturday evening to thank the following:

Cruella Collet for awarding me both the Versatile Blogger Award AND the Lovely Blog Award! They sure are giraffy. ;]

Samuel Park for awarding me yet another Versatile Blogger Award!

Oh, all right, if you really want another 7 things about me . . .

1.) I cannot walk around barefoot inside. Outside, I can, just not inside because of some weird obsessive compulsive thing. Believe me, I'm just as stumped as you are.

2.) I re-read all of the books I enjoy at least once. Only with Harry Potter have I read something multiple times.

3.) Computers make me very impatient.

4.) I buy all that I read, so no libraries. Maybe a huge overdue fine that I have from tenth grade is what's unconsciously keeping me from them... More likely, I just don't read as often as most other readers/writers do, but I do try to fit in at least half an hour a day.

5.) I also don't really go to the movie theater (a couple times a year at the most). But I do make exceptions for actiony flicks (The Departed, Public Enemies, etc), which are so much more exciting to watch up on the big screen!

6.) My mother is probably the coolest mother you'll never have (sorry). A lot of the time she's more fun to hang out with than my friends! She's just so youthful and quirky. You know your mom's cool if she's got a Flight of the Conchords ringtone and if she sings, "There she is, Mrs. Americaaaaa" after I first wake up.

7.) For the time being, I work in retail. *snickers mysteriously*

If you don't already have either of these awards, and you are a follower of mine, they are officially yours! You deserve them!

Author Spotlight

2010-07-08T11:08:00.000-07:00

Today, you can find me over at Brandi G.'s blog in an author interview. Check it out!

Music in Visual Entertainment

2010-07-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry, Roland, I just had to steal your post idea. Consider it a compliment. ;]

For centuries, theater has looked to music for camaraderie. The early Greeks and Romans used choral music in their plays, while Japanese Kabuki would have lost much of its dramatic effect on the audience if there were no singers or instrumentalists to accompany the story. Opera and ballet never would have progressed past the Baroque Era without music. Fast-forward to the late nineteeth and early twentieth centuries where recorded music became the norm. Silent films relied on pianists and other musicians to take the place of dialogue, both to provide depth and to keep the scene from falling flat. Transitioning from one scene to the next was, and still is, moderated by the insertion of music. It is the backbone of visual entertainment, able to carry along the story and further convey the thoughts and emotions of the characters, whether they’re up and about or static.

A musical score gives life to entertainment by adding in that extra zing in a variety of ways that can enhance the overall quality and emotional effectiveness. It can provoke your sense of fear or foreboding as with The Shining or Shutter Island; it can inspire a la Rocky; it can bring tears to your eyes like Titanic’s soundtrack did to muscle-bound men everywhere (admit it, you cried!); or it can just get you to think. Or laugh. Or dance. Think about it. Where would Bollywood be without those excessive song and dance sequences? Or all those romantic comedies with their feel-good, cutesy beats? What we hear directly affects what we see.

And isn’t it great when a song entirely inappropriate to a scene starts up?! While an eerie tune would best seem to fit the end of each True Blood episode, a mildly jovial country melody offers irony, as a sort of grim form of comic relief, perhaps. Oldies music playing while a woman gets axed? Hilarious. Deceptive, yes, but we like that.

Now it’s time to get a little cocky. We like that too, don’t we? Imagine that your book has just been optioned by Paramount or Showtime. You have a lot of sway over many aspects of your creative baby being rendered into a film or TV show, and one of them is the score.

Ever since Cowboy Bebop became one of my favorite TV shows, I’ve loved the idea of infusing jazz to spice up an action scene. It’s a unique way of showcasing a fight, not to mention it’s just plain sexy. If I could get Yoko Kanno to do the soundtrack for my book’s film/TV medium, I would DIE of happiness. I’d also need a little more edgy and freaky material mixed in, something by the likes of The Dust Brothers (Fight Club) or Thievery Corporation. Howard Shore (The Aviator, LOTR) would be good for a rousing inspirational scene or out-and-out male rock. And Maroon 5 and Fiona Apple are welcome to pitch in anytime. Can’t get enough romantic angst!

What type of music would YOU want? What do you think would create a suitable atmosphere for your story? Which composers/singers/bands would you choose, and why?

The Art of the Query

2010-07-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

Oh, the naivete of first-time authors. Remember that glorious, yet transitory, period when all you thought you had to do was write the book, only to be slapped across the face with the realization that, uh, hello, how am I going to be getting this thing out there? That's when you discovered the nifty little selling device called the query letter, which is basically a summation of your book's finer points in two pages or less. A query can make or break an agent's desire to represent you (and believe me, they really do want you!), which is why you MUST devote the time into writing one that works.

Remember: it's all about persuasion. You are persuading an agent to represent you and your book. You want that person to be salivating and clawing at the ground for you, not annoyed with your most-likely (to them) unfounded belief that you're hot stuff.

Now, I am not trying to toot my own horn here, nor am I saying my own query letter is THE OMG SUBLIME EXAMPLE!!! But after three months of trying to perfect this thing, I understand what to do and what not to do. And we need an example of some sort. So here is a breakdown of my 2 paragraph query, with my notes in BLUE:

Name

Address

Phone Number

Current Date

Agency Name

Dear Mr. or Mrs. Agent,

Do not refer to the agent by just their first name or "To Whom It May Concern." Find some agent name to put here. And PLEASE spell their name correctly! We all make honest mistakes, sure, but you will convey professionalism and the astonishing ability of proof-reading if there are absolutely no spelling errors in your query letter. The less the merrier.

Anything can happen in the span of a day; and one’s whole world can change by the next.

The hook. Make it short and snappy.

Set predominantly in a crime-infested, modern Japan, The Age of Tomorrow: Requiem Chronicle tells a story of stark realism from the perspectives of people unsure who they are. Include the italicized title of your work and where the book takes place in your first paragraph. The Rosencrucian & Co.’s forever tenuous partnership, each member with personal issues of their own, walks a very fine line between trust and its nasty, bitter counterpart. Ishikura Saname, aka the bounty hunter Hades’ Angel, emerges as the plot’s ringleader. A young woman of smirking brutality, she is made to ponder her code of bloody justice when the existence of Spirits, people born again, is revealed to her. Meanwhile, a high-society, cannibalistic hotelier by the fake name of Pierce Chromwell is found to have more in common with who is supposed to be our protagonist than she’d like to admit. This unfolds while the rest of the international Gyokusai and French-based Vedanta plan their clashing advents and gruesome utopian ideals.

The above incorporated A.) a brutally concise explanation of the main conflict, and B.) the main protagonist and antagonist. Including a couple supporting characters is all right, but only if their role is large enough and/or you have enough room and a leeway into them. Other than that, you just want a general rundown of what to expect. Also, for the most part, my novel is serious, so I write my query the same way. If your novel is funny, make the tone of your query funny. This is to allow an agent to get in touch with your writing style.

TAT will likely be split up into five books. The consensus here is evenly split between those who say not to talk of a series, and those who say you should. Your book should be able to stand on its own; but agents want to know of your future writing plans. If they like the idea of your first book, and it turns out that it was highly well-done and thus a potentially great sell, naturally they will assume the best for your sequel(s). Requiem Chronicle has 143,000 words and 416 pages. Always, always, ALWAYS put in your word and page count. Most agencies have preferences, and they need to know if your project fits in. Do not lie to them either; they will find out because they know how to read minds from far away. Criminal justice, greatly touched upon in my novel, has been and will always be a significant and divisive issue in our world. Debate rages as to whether or not criminals deserve rights, whether they can be rehabilitated, and what the limits are in punishing and controlling them. While I myself have no writing credits (no degree as of yet, no teaching credentials, no awards won, no previous publication record), if you do, mention it. Don't bother with self-publishing credits, however; an agent only cares if someone else was willing to take a chance on your book. What I did instead, and what you can do as well, is discuss the purpose of my book, and what someone can perchance gain from reading it. Think about your book's themes, then condense them into a sentence or two. What makes my novel stand apart is that it is a melding of genres done in a way that reads partially like a character study, partially like a thriller, and it will appeal to anybody trying to figure out who they are and what it is they want from life. It is evocative of Harry Potter, where the supernatural collides with everyday issues. Also, I was quite influenced by various anime while writing TAT, particularly in terms of action sequences, and that makes this book uniquely marketable to anyone like me who enjoys Japanese animation and a bloody good fight. Agents are curious as to how you think your book is different, yet also how well it can find a niche in the existing market, aka, shelf space at the bookstore. Convince the agent of your book's impressiveness and marketability in a way that doesn't read haughty. If your book has any similarities, big or small, with an already published book (extra points if it was a huge bestseller), don't hesitate to include that too! Just don't go off on a rambling saga of why you're JK Rowling's literary twin; let your writing speak for itself. Notice how there aren't any boastful adjectives such as "astounding" or "heart-wrenching," etc, in my description. I manage a blog and will be starting college in the fall. While this isn't the place for going into detail, an agent would love to hear that you already have some type of platform.

I thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope to hear back from you for it would be an honor. Be sure to tell the person thank you for their time.

Currently, I am sending out multiple submissions. Common courtesy says to let an agent know if you are sending out multiple submissions. If you are interested, contact me however you wish and I will send my completed manuscript.

NEVER query an agent until your book is completely, 100% FINISHED. You may think that you'll have time to write the last two chapters because, hey, some agents take weeks to respond to a query, so I've got plenty of time! But what, pray tell, will you do if you stumble upon an agent who responds back the very next day? You only have so much time to reply to them before they hit the road.

Cordially or Sincerely,

Your Name

No fancy gimmicks at the end. A query letter is supposed to be professional, so leave out the witty or intimate goodbyes.

Mastering the art of the query is one of many steps toward publication, but it may just be the most important. You screw this up, you may have screwed up all chances to ever get published.

And you do want to be published, right? RIGHT?

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Anybody setting off fireworks for the 4th of July?!?!

Vacationing Even In These Hard Economic Times

2010-06-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

One of the annual things that my family (ie, my brothers, mother, and her boyfriend) does is go camping. There's a spot up in North Carolina in the Smoky Mountains right beside Deep Creek that we've set up our tent at for the past four years. Even though I'm one for variety, Brent, the man my mother has been with for four years and counting, doesn't want to go out of his way in an area he's not familiar with, especially since Deep Creek is one of the more economical places to camp. Yet it still makes for an awesome vacation! There's tubing, whitewater rafting, kayaking, hiking, horseback riding, fishing (nothing tastes better than dinner you've caught), the occasional sighting of a black bear (keep all food in your car!), delicious ice cream just down the road, and a fabulous Italian restaurant by the name of Anthony's (this in a little town called Bryson City, where you wouldn't think there'd be such good Italian food). Beyond pizza or eggplant parmesan, we mainly cook our own food to save money.

The scenery is gorgeous during the summer, where you will find hills upon hills of lush, unspoiled vegetation, pretty log cabins (some of which are unexpectedly swanky), and waterfalls. Nearby in Asheville is Fontana Lake, where the Appalachian Trail crosses Fontana Dam. Last summer's excursion was particularly nice, as I bettered my swimming technique and got a close-up look at a family of ducks. The super adorable ducklings were only inches away from me at one point, as I kept trying to get them to come closer by swishing the water with my hand. The mama duck sat atop the water in the background, watching me with a vigilant eye, just waiting for an opening to attack. On the flip side, however, some moron had actually gone #2 on a rock that jutted out of the water, and if you got within a few feet of it, you could smell it. To make matters worse, the water kept carrying you toward the poo, so you had to be extra careful where you swam. Gross. What's wrong with people?

In the winter we go skiing at Chattahoochee or Sugar Mountain, and we stay in a small log cabin that a friend of Brent's owns and lets us stay in rent-free. While Sugar Mountain is considered a better ski resort in that the slopes are longer, it's not at all preferable. The last time I visited in December of '08, I went down the mountain maybe five times, because the time I spent waiting in line for the ski lift ranged anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 minutes. The crowds were that bad. And as Sugar is a more prestigious ski resort as opposed to the small Chattahoochee, it costs more to get in and rent ski equipment. So now I only ski at Chattahoochee. It's cheaper, less crowded, and the lines for the ski lift are virtually non-existent; even on a Saturday, which translates to more skiing than standing.

Last weekend, we were supposed to go camping. That was the plan. And we would have, if not for my brother's broken tooth, which hit him with a very costly dental bill. Or should I say, hit us, seeing as how it's affected all in the Sablan/Palmer household who were eager to head out into The Great Outdoors. There's talk that the trip was merely postponed, but knowing frugal Brent, I'm not so sure. I start college in the fall, on top of the two part-time jobs I hope to have, which would leave me in a major time crunch; but do we really want to go in July? The weather in June is more mild than blazing hot July. And I know from experience that the fish at the trout pond we frequent WILL NOT bite if it's too hot. Heck, I won't even want to be out of the water myself.

If you're suffering through these same economic hardships, never fear: there is still hope for a vacation. The next time you head out somewhere, keep these money-saving tips that I've learned to adopt in mind:

-- Limit the amount of times you eat out.
Eating out at a restaurant, even if it's cheapo fast food, will cost more than buying from the grocery store and cooking it yourself. Add to that sidestepping brand name foods (do you really ever notice the difference between Motts Apple Juice and store-brand?) and fatty junk foods, and you've got yourself a waist and wallet friendly meal! Even when camping, you can still make your own meals by buying a portable stove-top and bringing along small pots and pans and utensils to cook with, and a cooler to store the food and drinks.

-- Reconsider whether you really need to book a room at the Ritz Carlton.
Staying at fancy hotels can be nice every now and again, but why do that often if you plan on being outside your hotel for most of the time? Great deals can be found at two-star hotels and motels that still come with clean beds, clean bathrooms, and hot water, maybe even a free continental breakfast. And that's all you really need with temporary lodging.

-- Make the most of free activities.
There are a lot of things to do that won't cost you a penny. Plan an all-day trip to the lake, go hiking, grab a bike and ride along the beach, join in on a volleyball game, check out the local street performers, visit free museums, see the national or historical sights, or just people watch at a bistro. That right there can make en entire vacation!

-- Be on the lookout for gas stations.
When you spot a great gasoline bargain, fill up even if you have half a tank. Generally, prices are lower in the cities than in outlying areas.

-- Watch out for parking fees.
If you have to, park a little ways away rather than right up front, especially at major attractions. Not only is walking the extra distance good for you, you may save a few dollars on parking expenses.

-- Pay for everything in cash, debit, or traveler's checks.
Going to an ATM not for your bank will charge you a fee for the privilege of using them, and trying to find an ATM for your bank will only eat up gas. And anger your hungry kids.

-- Book your flights on a Tuesday.
If your destination is too far away for the budget alternative of driving, book a flight on Tuesday. Tuesday is when the newest travel deals are listed in order for the airlines to take on their competitors. Don't slack off, though. Most of the seats at those lower prices are gone by Thursday.

Sources:
http://www.betterbudgeting.com/articles/travel/onvacation.htm
http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2010/05/25/summer-air-fares-climbing-as-airlines-add-surcharges/

Do you have any tried and true strategies to save money on vacation?

Oh, my!

2010-06-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

As you may have figured out by now, I like my entertainment with a bit of shock value. I want to be in complete disbelief as a character's situation takes a turn for the worse, or something comes up in the story that is entirely left-field. Salacious language and violence doesn't bother me in the least, but of course, in terms of fiction, it has to have a point for being there. It needs to either advance the plot somehow or give insight into the character. Story is important. This is why Ninja Assassin fell flat, in my opinion. All the action was overshadowed by a cheesy and cliched story.

A movie that did GREAT shock value was the bizarre and deeply non-linear Mulholland Drive, directed by David Lynch and starring the wonderful Naomi Watts. It's one of those what the f*** films in that you literally say out loud what the f*** a thousand times while watching it. You will not understand what happens during the first viewing. But then on the second go-around, you may have some ideas as to what it was all supposed to mean. Even then, however, it just seems like a bunch of haphazard events strewn together to delight the male mind interested in seeing two beautiful women freak out and fall in love.

The story begins innocently enough with an oldie dance number. WTF #1. Soon it dissolves into a seemingly unrelated car accident on LA's Mulholland Drive, and that's when things turn eerie. The woman (played by Laura Elena Harding) who escapes alive does not escape with her memory intact, and this brings her to Watts' character. WTF #2. Betty is a too-optimistic aspiring actress who seems to have everything going for her. She becomes smitten with "Rita" when she finds the pliable-as-a- child woman in her aunt's apartment's shower in Los Angeles. Betty decides to assist Rita in uncovering her identity, and when they look in Rita's purse, they find a huge wad of money and an unusual blue key. WTF #3. This leads to many, many more WTFs, including three supporting story lines that at first don't appear to have any bearing on the main plot. There's no order in how the story is set up, and yet it works from your sheer desire of wanting to gain if only a partial sense of understanding.

Throughout the entire film, there's an element of ominous suspense interwoven with the happy-go-lucky women's pursuit of Hollywood acclaim (in Betty's case) and identity. You have to keep watching, not really to see if Rita will ever find out who she is or if Betty will ever make it as a "great actress," but to understand the why and wherefore of the constant portent. You sense that something shocking is about to go down. And it does. The ending is just FREAKY.

As for literature, there's always Japanese fiction if you want to be shocked, most of which offers a darker side to Japanese society. My favorite is Out by Natsuo Kirino, which was nominated for an Edgar Award, and rightly so. It's a graphic mystery of a woman who strangles her abusive husband and then elicits the help of her friends from the boxed lunch factory she works at to help cover up the crime. But it's the austere ringleader of the four women whose life transforms the most. She must deal with a sexual sadist bent on revenge for a crime the abused mother committed, while desperately pursuing a way out of the life she can't take much more of.

One of the over-arching themes of the book is that people are inherently alone, and it is detailed in the back-stabbing, selfish indifference, and chilling gruesomeness of the subsequent happenings that spiral the character's lives out of control. Yet despite all that, is it still possible to attain liberation?

What is the most shocking book you have read, be it fiction or non-fiction? What is the most shocking movie you have seen? What made it so shocking? What, to you, is shocking?

Weird & Wacky Japan(ese Drinks)

2010-06-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

There’s a reason I chose

Japan

as the primary setting for my book. It's weird. As much as they try to imitate

America

and all things eigo, they can’t quite make it all the way. However, that’s not to say the small island country failed. Traditional Japan lives right alongside modern Japan and all it’s gadgetry because they still want to hold on to their heritage, as much as its youth wear Nikes and listen to Beyonce. Not to mention they know it’s cool. I don’t speak Japanese and I’ve never been to Japan, but I’ve read/heard and watched so much about it that my portrayal is accurate in TAT. I delve into the good and the bad, along the way giving insight into the world’s second largest economy.

Today's cultural scoop is about the weird and wacky drinks of Japan, some (most?) of which you'd probably never want to taste.

Not so for Ramune, the popular soft drink first introduced in 1876. With 26 flavors, ranging from melon to strawberry, from kimchi to octopus, from cookie dough to pineapple, there’s bound to be at least one flavor you like. The taste is like very sweet, carbonated water. What can be tricky for foreigners is getting the bottle open. The way to do it (do NOT throw a single piece away, or you’re stuck with a bottle of soda you can’t drink!) is by pressing down on the marble embedded in the opening. Once pushed inside the neck, it just rattles around as you drink, sometimes stopping the flow. Apparently children love the “alien head” formed by the marble and indentations on the bottle neck. Available online and in all FYEs and Asian grocery stores. Flavors available will vary.

Got Bilk? Can you guess what it is...? Yeah, it's milk and beer. Together. Specifically, low-malt beer mixed with 30% milk. It was created after concerns arose that there was too much surplus milk in Japan. Now, I don't know about you, but there are plenty of better options for using milk and getting more Japanese to drink it, although I do hear it's an "acquired" taste. Available only in Japan. Easy to make yourself.

The things women do to stay beautiful... should have its limits. That limit should stop right before downing a glass of Placenta 400,000. Made from actual swine placenta, the 2008-made health drink is said to have regenerative and dietary properties, the rawness of it disguised by peaches. The brilliant company behind such brilliance, Nihon Sofuken, also manufactures an array of beauty products for the contemporary Japanese woman who can’t afford to fall behind on maintaining her figure. Available only in Japan.

Time to move on to what people will actually drink. Pocari Sweat, a sports drink first sold in 1980, may sound gross, but the mild-tasting, lightly sweet beverage is very popular in Japan. The funny name derives from the intended effect of replenishing “ions” in the body that are lost through perspiration. Although Japanese students spend anywhere from 6-10 years studying English, practical application is few and far between in a country where there are virtually no native English speakers to teach these students. Thus, we end up with Pocari Sweat, a name only humorous to fluent English speakers. Available in select Asian grocery stores and online.

We all know about saké, but its lesser known counterpart amazake is also widely drank in Japan. Like saké, it is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented rice, except amazake comes with less alcohol. It can be consumed not just as a nutritious drink, but as a dessert, salad dressing, sweetening agent, and as baby food, and is believed to be a curative for hangovers. Available online and in most Asian grocery stores during the winter months and in some health food shops.

Then there's all these distinctly Japanese variations on American drinks, such as Coconut Lipton Tea and Pepsi Ice Cucumber.

Canned coffee is a favorite of Japanese salarymen. It is as delicious as the kind you grind into a coffeemaker, except much more convenient. A lovechild of the 60s, it can be bought piping hot in pretty much all Japanese vending machines and convenience/grocery stores. You know it’s tasty if Brad Pitt will drink it.

DRINK UP!

The Secret To Everything

2010-06-21T17:26:00.000-07:00

Well, in writing. Sorry to lead you on like that.

To write well is to be completely honest with yourself, to dig deep into your most painful memories and emotions. This pertains even to chick lit or any type of comedic literature. Conflict arises in even the funniest of books, and for conflict to happen, there must be a few not so funny elements that pop up and change things around. Because who would want to read a work of fiction made up of random events that just never seem to lead to anything else, to something greater? There must be a purpose. And those who remain honest with themselves in front of their book are those who can devise not just a purpose for their book’s existence, but a powerful purpose.

Alas, it’s not as easy as simply saying, "Yes, that was the most humiliating moment of my life. I wanted to kill her, and then myself." You must be able to successfully shift said humiliating memory onto your computer, journal, Waffle House napkin, whatever, in a way that reads true, yet exclusively you.Your own unique life experiences, beliefs, and traditions will grant uniqueness to your writing, but the first step is self-sincerity. Let your emotions spill out onto the page/screen unhindered, as they truly are, not how you wish them to be, and your audience will be left wanting a resolution. Wanting more.

Bring on the controversy, baby! 公的

2010-06-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

The views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the blog owner's.

Reader discretion advised.

Yeah, so, Amanda’s been wanting to take some time off, so she asked if I would guest post for her today. When whatever inane reasons that had compelled her to ask me got the better of her (as they so often do), I told her to screw off because what makes her think that just because she created me I’m supposed to do whatever the hell she demands of me? I’m a bounty hunter, not some personal assistant. She just stood there, literally uncovering my every secret with those piercing eyes of hers. They’re as big around as those Amazonian tarantulas, but about as innocent as a tigress guarding her cubs.

So anyway, I told her to screw off, she told me to watch my mouth, I retorted that I’m not the one who decides these things, and then this glimmer of awareness suddenly took over her face. The snarky bitch (only playin’) made it to where I wouldn’t have anything at all to do with my time with a click of her mouse. Just like that, my itinerary was cleared. No damsels in distress to save, no good movies playing, everyone else busy with whatever, and the local shooting range mysteriously closed for the week. So why not discover yourself a new hobby, my lovely?

Pfft. That woman’s a damn tyrant, I’m tellin’ you. Worse than that prehistoric T-rex Izanami whom I hate to call my boss. Get out while you can.

Anyway, the name’s Ishikura Saname. Or I guess Saname Ishikura, as that’s how you Westerners do it. Sa-na-may. There’s no mee at the end. Yes, I’m a female; no, I will not sleep with you. I bounty hunt for the Metropolitan Police Force over in Tokyo, while calling Yokohama home. Elected officials are too soft on criminals (my sensible opinion), as well as many of the people they purportedly stick their ties on for, which is why I choose to stay on with the Rosencrucian. And they may think they control me, but the only person I’m under any true obligation to is myself. I’m still waiting on exactly what I’m supposed to do about the Spiritual/Caderical debacle (?), but it’s extra money in my pocket, and no one can honestly say that that’s not a fan-freaking-tastic motivator.

On to the blog post. Amanda explicitly advised me against certain topics of discussion (fearing it would stir up un-needed controversy), which left me with virtually nothing. But then I realized that that right there could be our topic of the day: controversy, specifically, why popular entertainment should have more of it.

Life is grand, we’re taught as kids. So grand that nothing can ever truly go wrong if we just play by the rules and follow our dreams. But then shit starts to happen. I don’t wanna ramble, so I’ll let you fill in the blank on this one. Things go wrong. People are not who they seem to be. You are not who you seem to be. Society is ten kinds of dog shit because, as an added bonus, we just don’t want to have to deal with it. We tend to avoid all that’s wrong in our lives by tricking ourselves into thinking it’s not as bad. Again, I’ll let you make your own examples. We do this because we’re afraid to worsen the problem, afraid we’ll make fools of ourselves in front of our peers, or, well, we’re just too goddamn lazy. So we distract ourselves with personal empowerment mantras and food and entertainment, particularly the kind you read and watch.

God forbid that a book talk about what 2010 eats or a movie about politics and criminality. Get the hell over it, I say. People can have whatever opinions they want, right, as you yourself wish to have your own, so why not let them put those opinions on display? Yeah, people can go overboard. Hear about those enviro-maniacs who had sex on stage at the 2004 Quart Music Festival in front of hundreds, to bring attention to the rain forest? Ha, more like themselves. However, most of the time when people wave the overboard card, it’s just a blatant fuck-you to someone they don’t agree with.

Censorship is a much-debated issue, especially over in the States. Here in Japan, extreme violence and borderline child pornography are the norm, even on national TV (hey, it’s the parent’s fault if they allow their kid to stay up late). A lot of it is empty entertainment. You won’t learn a thing, except maybe the right kind of sneer to put on before beating someone’s brains out. And then we have the kind of controversy that was so made not just to rile up the prudish, but to impart a message.

The 1999 American flick Fight Club's message was for unfulfilled Generation Xers who couldn’t tell the difference between themselves, and their job. Violence was strewn throughout the film in order to elucidate why violence occurs, and under what conditions people feel the need to become violent. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex basically foretold our technological, and thus socially inept, futures in it’s story of constant attachment to the net via your brain, as well as our phony government that only pretends to be on our side. Then in the second season of the animated TV show, our reasoning for hating on refugees and why we all desire a supreme hero took center stage.

If we’re faced with something painful, popular entertainment with something to say could, just maybe, help us to change for the better by reminding us that, sure enough, we’re still messed up. Running away from our problems and dressing it up in sugary sweetness will only worsen it. A problem is so called a problem because it has to be solved. We’ve got to be honest with ourselves in what it is we need to change about our person or life situation. Surely the truth is more satisfying than self-deception, however unbearable? Only then can we know who we really are, and only then can we grab on to happiness.

And that’s a wrap. Thanks for stickin’ around, those of you who had the balls. May your days be full of controversy.

Now that should be on inspirational signs everywhere.

The Versatile Blogger

2010-06-17T21:24:00.000-07:00

A big thank you goes out to Amparo Ortiz for The Versatile Blogger Award! Let's see if I can come up with another 7 things about me...

1.} My last name Sablan is part French, part Chamorro (meaning, originating from Guam). Suh-blahn. Sounds French too. :)

2.} I like to eat potatoes, but not when they're mashed (I know, how un-American of me!). Help?

3.} The cramps I get from you-know-what for females are worse then what you will EVER have to endure. I mean it, it is painful for me. And they always seem to come about on days when I have plans. Birthdays, trips to Atlanta to see the King Tut exhibition.... D:

4.} I will buy a cool or pretty bottle just for the sake of having the bottle (for my collection). The Tru Blood bottle? I so bought that today.

5.} People say that my mother looks like my sister, and my grandmother like my mother. My family is definitely young-looking, and very female-dominant. Oh yeah!

6.} I would give a kidney in exchange for a role in a Martin Scorsese movie (alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, of course).

7.} In elementary school, even though I was always great at spelling (what can I say?), I would intentionally lose spelling bees because I didn't want the attention associated with it. Looking back on it, maybe I should have gone on. I could really use some scholarship money now!

So here's the deal. Pass this award on to 15 other fantastic bloggers whom you have recently discovered (hopefully one month counts). You must thank and link back to the blogger who gave you the award, and when you yourself are ready to pass the award along, contact the awardee to let them know of their super-awesome fabulousness!

Congratulations goes out to:

*dramatic pause*

The Red Angel

Carolina Valdez Miller

Brandi G.

Tahereh

Stephanie Thornton

Mia

Bec

Nicole Ducleroir

Mesmerix

WritingNut

Jen

Talli Roland

Theresa Milstein

Sarah Callejo

(awarded me my first ever award, so thanks again, Sarah!)

Being super-awesome fabulous is a lot of work, isn't it? For those whom I could not send the award to (I was told I would be hunted down if I gave out the award to more than 15 people), you are also super-awesome fabulous! Promise!

Whatever Works

2010-06-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

Opening Memo: I will now be writing a new post every other day. Unless I go on any vacations, and when I’m on vacation, I generally avoid computers. Yes, I have that privilege for right now. : }

Also, every now and again on a random day, one of my literary characters will guest post for me, and I’ve no idea what to expect with them. Stay tuned…

On to whatever works!

The aspiring writer is literally bombarded with advice and warnings on taking the path frequently traveled toward publication. Advice and warnings are given in order to weed out the masses (yep, it’s a conspiracy). Most of it is imperative to honing your writing career, while some of it may not even apply to you or is downright objectionable. Everybody is different. Case in point:

-- Outlining
Not everybody does it (don’t lie!). I don’t. Well, that was a half-lie. I didn’t outline at all for my first novel, and it turned out fine. I think. How, I couldn’t tell you. But then I made it to my second and realized that – le gasp – I had no idea what to do! I had so much material dreamed up that I didn’t know where to begin, let alone what to put where, and so I came up with a general outline. Very few details were added, but that lends spontaneity to a story, as all the anti-outliners will agree.

-- Scheduling Time to Write
But your manuscript likes routine!

Well you know, cows like routine too, and they manage to survive!

This is advice that I’ve never subscribed to. A writer should write often (daily, we’re told), but it’s up to each person how often and what time they should do it. For those with families, it may be impossible to schedule a specified block of time and then follow it like a perfect little 50’s housewife every day. Families do not work around premeditation; they are spontaneous, erratic, and demanding. Things could suddenly come up ZOMG A CRAZY GUY WITH A SPORK!!!; disgust with the world can make you completely unreceptive to storytelling; or, well, you’d rather write when you feel most inspired.

If you only write when inspired, it’ll take you years to finish your book!

That’s why you take what you can get, but under your own terms. If you’re a once-a-day sort of writer, write when you most feel like doing it, whether it’s right out of the shower or just after lunch. The same pertains to those who write every other day, every week, every 9th of the month, and so on. Fret over word count more, especially if you’re a published author with deadlines.

-- Queries
These hellish, hellish things don’t have to be quite so hellish. One-page-ness doesn’t automatically guarantee a query letter’s awesomeness. A lot of agents are said to prefer it, but, I assure you, many don’t care that much. It wouldn’t be wise to send them three pages, but two should be all right if you simply cannot condense your splendid novel into one. And yet many author websites run screaming from two pages. Unless the literary agency’s website says explicitly: one-page query, the agent’s not going to sit on their high throne and say out loud to themselves as they munch on the obliterated dreams of aspiring authors from the slush pile, "This guy/gal clearly is in no way, shape, or form ready to be a writer. DELETE! Hahahaha, take that, you scum! Eat your two pages in HELL!"

The query letter I’ve been sending out is just under one page, but it started out at one and a half. Said one and a half page query still managed to attract the attention of one Agent X. I was embarrassed that that agent ever read that query (thank God he requested the first 10 pages along with it!) not because it was too long, but, as he said, it was "confusing and rushed." I’ll post my new and improved query later on.

Also, if you want to mention that you love love LOVE Agent Magnifico’s previous client That Guy with the Stache’s novel, go for it. If you don’t mention anything at all about the agent’s other clients, or about any interviews you may have read about the agent, don’t despair. It’s not necessary. In fact, some agents may deem that "flattery."

--Others that won’t be discussed in-depth:
Novel length, to preface or not to preface, how you treat rejection (I find egging the agent’s house very therapeutic; friends swear on Dexter marathons), plenty more I can’t pinpoint.

So how do I weed out the guidance that’s so vital to my writing success?

Simple. By doing whatever works for you (or the literary agency). What works for you (or the literary agency) may not work as well for someone else. But because you’re you and not them (or is this a conspiracy too?!?!), don’t concern yourself with what everyone else may or may not be doing. Writers are liars. So they may very well be lying to you about their modus operandi.

NOW GO OUT AND BE SPECIAL!

My 1 Month Bloggaversary

2010-06-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

People usually wait until maybe their 100th follower, or even 50th, before making a post like this. But I felt like breaking blog tradition. I've been a part of the blogging community for one month now, and it's been a blast! I've cyber-met many awesome people and learned so much. At first I said it was annoying, because I was genuinely worried that I'd have no clue what to post. Or if I could come up with something, I'd be less than qualified and/or boring. Me, imparting advice?! Talking about myself?! Trying to be FUNNY?! The audacity!

And then . . . and then . . . I started reading other people's blogs. From them, I gained ideas for my own, and of course, I gained blogger buddies. YOU, who read my blog whenever you remember to, and YOU who comments with something kind, funny, intelligent, or all of the above. I never, not once, thought I'd end up with this many faithful minions, and in only a month! I was, and still am, ecstatic.

Maybe it's not a record; maybe there's some freak of nature out there who snags 24 new followers per DAY and is not named Nathan Bransford. But I don't care. I'm grateful, very grateful, for all of your humor and warm support, and I will continue to make this blog the best it can be!

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

2010-06-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

Today I’ll be letting you in on 10 Things You Don’t Know About Me, courtesy of Sarah Callejo.

I had no idea how to order these, so they’re not numbered.

*turns on announcer’s voice* And heeeeere they are:

-- I have a fear of cockroaches. It’s no longer a phobia as it once was (stemming from when I was in kindergarten and was literally CHASED around my kitchen by one) but they still really creep me out. I’m not afraid of spiders or scorpions (things that can actually harm you), just those little icky brown insects that will never go extinct! Then, about a year ago, I killed my first roach, and then a second one lurking in my dog’s food bowl. I was quite proud of myself. But that “kills on contact” bug spray lied to me. EVIL.

-- Growing up, I was a major tomboy, and until the age of ten or so when I started to grow out my hair, I even looked like a boy. I would always tell people that I was, and I vaguely remember at five years old going with my grandma to Target and asking if I could get a pair of boy’s Batman underpants. I wore the heck out of them things! I was also the only girl on my tee-ball team in San Antonio.

-- I'm a serial mover. Over the past 18 years of my life, I've lived in 11 different houses. My half-brother's father was in the military and we'd get transferred constantly. Nonetheless, I've only lived in three states: Texas, Georgia, Arizona, then back to Georgia, where I've been coming up six years now.

-- I have two dogs and a cat. Maxie is a bulldog mix, Valentino is a cocker/springer spaniel mix, and Albert is a ... uh, gray cat? And I stole both my dog's names from other dogs. : }

-- I do not know how to whistle. Well, no, I do know how, I just can’t do it. Not at all.

-- It wasn’t until I turned 14 that I desperately wanted to become a writer and an actor. Until then, my career ambitions ranged from marine biologist, herpetologist (studies reptiles), architect, astronaut, astronomer, animal photographer (like The Wild Thornberries!), and the first female MLB player (hey, I was six, all right, gimme a break). Yes, I was really REALLY passionate about animals and space. And then I entered the eighth grade and discovered an appreciation for pretty houses and skyscrapers. And then I remembered I’m terrible with numbers and the like.

-- I didn’t get my driver’s license until April of this year, shortly after my 18th birthday. I was afraid of driving at first which is why I stalled in learning how. Now I’m very comfortable driving in my occasionally-unstartable Honda. Which brings us to…

-- Directions! I’m terrible with them. Each and every time I go somewhere into the city, I have to print out a Mapquest map. A couple weekends ago I actually got lost trying to get to a new friend’s house, who lives maybe eight minutes away from me! One day soon I’m getting a GPS.

-- I’ve been told that I speak “all proper,” but when I’m nervous or over-excited, I develop a slight stammer. Thankfully only my 12 year old brother makes fun of me.

-- Sometimes I’m oblivious to my surroundings (except when driving, I swear!) and I’ve been known to literally walk right by someone without realizing I know them. This happens because I think WAY too much.

Now it’s time to pass it on, and for these fine bloggers to give it a whirl:

The Red Angel
Roland D. Yeomans
Terry Stonecrop
WritingNut
Vatche

A Day In the Life of A Crazy Person

2010-06-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

When people seek therapy, they do it to cure a personal issue or disorder, or at the very least, they want answers on how to deal with it. People with substance abuse problems, couples in failing marriages, or those in the midst of depression are the usual suspects. But anyone who works or aspires to work in a creative field needs therapy just as much!

Tahereh did a post on a day in the life of a writer just a couple days ago, and it sums us writers up hilariously, yet perfectly, so I'll leave you to that. What I will be going over instead is acting! Let's review:

Hollywood! Actors are freakin' crazy, aren't they?! There's scientology, state-sponsored dating mistakenly called marriage, the clothes, incredibly inane movies that you can't believe ever got made, crushes on Hugo Chavez, the unbelievable baby names, $60 bottles of water, the clothes, assistants whose only responsibility is to hold up a star's umbrella, and the weird crossbreed of affection and hatred toward paparazzi. Is it any wonder, though? What these crazies do for a living drives them straight out of their minds! Here's the typical work schedule of your typical big-name actor:

4 AM: Wakes up in hotel.

4:01 AM: Scrambles in shower.

4:06 AM: Scarfs down coffee and maybe a handful of almonds.

4:30 AM: Hair and make-up done; sits still for two hours.

6:30 AM: Scarfs down three 5 Hour Energy's and another handful of almonds.

6:32 AM: Worries if they put on weight.

6:35 AM: Worries some more.

6:37 AM: Told they are right to worry; sobs on the inside.

6:40 AM: Production begins! Lines, body placement, outfit adjustments, random outbursts of anger by the perfectionist director.

7 AM: Weather freezing cold, but the character must be in only a bikini at the beach; worries about pneumonia but afraid they'll be replaced by the skinnier Ms. Blond Actress if they complain.

7:35 AM: Uses their weight concerns to produce the necessary tears for an emotional scene.

1 PM: Scarfs down Sobe, maybe 1/4 of a low-carb turkey sandwich.

1:02 PM: Regrets eating.

1:30 PM: Production begins again! Yay . . .

1:35 PM: Production crew not done eating; making the love scene very unsexy with mustard all over their chins.

1:38 PM: Can't . . . look . . . away!

1:40 PM: Randomly throws pillow at production crew. Take that!

1:41 PM: But he was staring at my boob with mustard down his shirt!

1:43 PM: Redoes awkward love scene.

1:50 PM: Self-doubt galore.

2 PM: OMG, WHY DO I DO THIS?!?! *wants to bang head*

2:25 PM: Remembers $10 million paycheck.

2:26 PM: Feels better.

3 PM: Really sick and tired of the annoyingness of their character; doesn't feel "in it" anymore.

3:15 PM: Told that they are opening the door the wrong way; redoes it 27 times.

9 PM: Production ends.

9:30 PM: ZOMG, DINNER!!! To eat or not to eat?!

9:40 PM: Raids a passing Dunkin' Donuts.

9:42 PM: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

1o:20 PM: Goes over lines for the next day in front of hubby/mirror/iguana/Anderson Cooper.

Midnight: Nighty-nigh -- oh God, just kill me already!

So why would I want to be a part of that? Apart from the obvious (I'm psycho-deranged!), there is enjoyment to be found. Here's what you didn't see:

4:30 AM: Has delightful conversations with hairstylist & make-up artist; complimented over and over again.

6:40 AM: Entirely awake from adrenaline rush; can't wait to get things started!

6:55 AM: Hilarious bloopers ensue; even director cracks a smile.

7:10 AM: Feels overwhelmingly motivated to give the best performance of their career; loves every minute of it.

7:35 AM: Impresses everyone with their supreme cry-on-demand skills.

1 PM: That Sobe was really freakin' good!

1:05 PM: Delightful chatter.

1:32 PM: God, this guy's gorgeous! I'm getting paid to make out with him?!

2:25 PM: $10 MILLION PAYCHECK

4 PM: Can open a door better than anyone!

8 PM: Can't wait for the car chase on Wednesday!

10:30 PM: Experiments with different ways of saying tomorrow's lines.

Midnight: Four hours of sleep = more time to live life!

So you see, it's not all that bad! I love to perform. I love the feeling of being another person, of experimenting with different personalities, and I love the opportunity to move someone through my performance. It's the same with writers. We don't just love creating characters and worlds and stories, we love the idea of our readers gaining a disparate perspective on something, maybe one that they had never thought of before. And then there's inspiration. Film and literature is more than just a medium for escapist entertainment: it's a way to speak to the world, and thus, a way to change it. Fantasy stories can be just as influential in the message they offer as documentaries. So I cannot think up a better career than the arts. Work is arduous and never-ending, but that does not take away from the excitement and the need to create. And just the thought of how rewarding my efforts could turn out to be is enough to keep me going.

Now it's my turn for a food post!

2010-06-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

Cheese. I just can't get enough of it.

Cheddar, Colby Jack, blue cheese, cream cheese, goat cheese, Mozarella, Camembert, doesn't matter! I am in love with cheese! When I've got the munchies, I reach for cheese crackers or simply a piece of cheese. When I eat something ultra sweet, I have to have cheese to offset the overload of sugar. When I cook, the meals I prepare usually have cheese as one of its main "sin"gredients. I always say "cheese" when asked what I must have if I ever find myself marooned on a deserted island.

Did you know there's a cheese.com? Well, maybe you did. There's a website for everything.

Fact: Cold cheese should warm at room temperature for half an hour before serving so as to enhance the overall aroma, texture, and taste.
Opinion: Cheese goes better with white wine rather than red.
And that's all this 18 year old's gonna say...

Then it has a Making Of featurette, and it's hard to believe that something as disgusting-sounding as "coagulated milk" is so darn tasty! And did you know there's such a thing as camel cheese???

My favorite foods are pasta and Mexican cuisine, and of course, how could manicotti or enchiladas survive our palates without cheese?

In the future, I hope there will be a way you can eat food right off the screen!

What about you? What foods can you absolutely not live without?

The Age of Tomorrow Chapter 1

2010-06-05T10:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's up there!

Before I go ... Most of the responses I'm getting from agents is that TAT "isn't what I'm looking for." Which is perfectly understandable, because you can't help what just doesn't speak to you or interests you at a particular time. Hearing this makes me feel both hopeful, and a little hopeless. When will I find someone that is right for me, and who and where is this wonderful person? Will it ever even happen?

To cheer us unpublished folk up, here's some cute sootball creatures from Spirited Away!

In the Meantime...

2010-06-04T23:35:00.001-07:00

While I'm still trying to think up what to post about my dreams and why we all need many, many hours of therapy, I've decided to give you a snippet of the book I'm trying to get published.

In my very first post I said I wouldn't do this because of "copyright reasons." But then a comment from Roland D. Yeomans (!) about why I didn't enter the Dream Sequence Blogfest Contest got me thinking. If someone really were to stoop so low as to plagiarize my work, I'd have the proof right here, dated and everything! So I'll put my possibly silly fears aside and give you, dear minions, a taste of my writing style.

The Age of Tomorrow is a supernatural thriller with literary elements. Set predominantly in a crime-infested, modern Japan, TAT tells a story of stark realism from people unsure who they are. The world is slowly finding itself sliding toward war between Spiritus, people reborn as immortals, who make up 4% of the world population, and Cadere, or non-Spirits. The international Gyokusai views Cadere as weak and pitiful, and thus wants to annihilate them in order to "put them out of their misery," while the Vedanta desire Spiritual persecution, believing them to be "Sins Against God." Caught in the middle is the Rosencrucian Order, whose forever tenuous partnership walks a very line between trust, and its nasty, bitter counterpart, each member with personal issues of their own. Ishikura Saname, aka the bounty hunter Hades' Angel, emerges as the plot's ringleader. A young woman of smirking brutality, she is made to ponder her code of bloody justice when recruited into the Rosencrucian where she meets people who may help her uncover the "real Saname." Meanwhile, a cannibalistic hotelier by the fake name of Pierce Chromwell is found to have more in common with who is supposed to be our protagonist than she'd like to admit.

Criminal justice has been and always will be a significant and divisive world issue. Debate rages as to whether or not criminals deserve rights, whether they can be rehabilitated, and what the limits are in punishing and controlling them. Other themes I touch upon are perfection, fulfillment, isolation, and dark hedonism. A lot of what I write is modeled on real-world events and organizations (look up Rosicrucianism; it's very interesting stuff), as well as my own less-than-pretty experiences. Although I love to write fantasy, I feel the need to ground it in reality as much as possible. But that doesn't stop me from crafting an over-the-top action sequence!

Sometime this weekend I'll post the first chapter, which, oddly enough, was the last chapter I wrote. The first Chapter 1 I had wasn't compelling enough to stand on its own, nor could it draw you in, so I scrapped it and started over. That's the problem with prologues: they can turn out to be rather lame, so take caution. It's also a very short chapter, compared to my other ones. I hope you'll like it. : ]